What I fight for.......is it worth it?

I can't keep doing this!

"Get the hell away from me!" I yell at my wife, Breatris.

"Bitch. Come here." She said viciously grabbing my arm. "You do as I tell you. You obey me. Do you understand me?"

I was scared out of my mind. She was never this aggressive. She was always a little bit of an alcoholic, but I never thought she would put her hands on me again. Last time she got like this, I'd gone out to the mall with a group of friends. She accused me of going out with my crush, Siya. I love Beatris. At least, I thought I did. We've been together for almost two years. We've been through hell and high water. After she got into a freak car accident four months ago, she has been popping bottles like she'll never see the light of day again. She's been physically, emotionally, and sexually abusive. I'm actually afraid to be around her by myself now. She wasn't even supposed to be home today. She's supposed to be going to visit her aunt in D.C. I came home to pack up my things because I was finally leaving, when she came busting through the front door.

"You don't own me!" I spat at her.

"I'll teach you to obey. I do own you. If I say sit, bitch you sit." She said even louder.

I could barely breathe. I was afraid of what she was going to do. Something in my head kept telling me to retaliate immediately. If this were a movie, I would have been calling myself stupid. I guess you never really know how to handle a situation until you've been through it. So I did the first thing that came to mind. I looked in her eyes, and I saw nothing. No love, no compassion, no Beatris, there was simply nothing. I didn't see the woman I fell in love with. I saw a stranger. I punched her in the face and she stumbled backwards. After that one hit, I saw red. All of my anger just erupted inside me, and it was too much to bare. So I showed her just how much she hurt me. She constantly got away from me, and started hitting me. The more we fought, the angrier I got. I couldn't believe that the woman I loved, the woman who swore to love me in sickness and in health, is the same woman I am dying to get away from. I had finally gotten her to the ground, and I still couldn't stop myself from pounding my fists into her torso and face. Eventually, after I saw the damage I'd done to someone I used to care for, I got off of her. She stayed on the floor crying, as I stood up, went to the phone, and called the police. Once they got there they rushed us to the hospital. I tried my hardest to convince them that I didn't need medical attention, but my cuts and bruises said something totally different.
At the hospital, I called Beatris's big sister and my brothers. They got there faster than we did, and we were closer.

"Temari!!! Temari!!! Where are you?" I heard my brothers screaming.

"I'm here!" I shouted back.

"Oh thank God. We thought something happened to you." said Chris.

"Why the hell do you have all of these bruises? Did Beatris do this? I swear if she-" Rayon, the third oldest, tried to say but I cut him off.

"Ray I'm fine. I'm still here that's all that matters. Though, yes this was caused by Beatris. But she's hurt much worst." I said trying to assure them of my safety.

"Michayla, if you ever try to tell us that you're alright again, and you're in a hospital, I'll kill you myself." said Darnell, the 1st oldest, using my middle, telling me he was serious.

"I'm sorry for the scare. I just needed you guys. I need someone here with me." I said starting to cry intensely. "I need someone to be here. I would prefer people I can trust. Because right now that's only you guys. I thought it was her, but now I see I was only someone she had control over. Please just be here. I just want to feel safe again."

I could actually see my brothers about to burst into tears as well. They always told me that they hate to see me cry, because it makes them hurt too. That's not what I wanted, but I was happy to see that I will always have these amazing people who will do anything, go anywhere, and be anything for me. If only my mother could see me now. I know she'd run through the hospital with a gun ready to kill Beatris. She's who I really need right now, but she's in Puerto Rico for her honeymoon. I called her that night on Skype, and she was literally trying to find plane tickets to come see me that night. It took me three hours to convince her not to come back until her last week of relaxation was over. I even suspended her and my stepfather's credit cards so that they couldn't buy anything. She stayed on the phone with me through the entire night. Just hearing her voice as she talked and sang to me made me feel even safer. Without my family in my life, I'd most likely be in a grave right now.
I was only in the hospital for at least a week, while Beatris was there for a month to recover. I even sent her a flower bouquet and a picture from my next photo shoot as a final "Screw You." I wanted her to remember what she lost, and to know that she'd never get it back. I wanted her to know that she was my past and I was living in the present. She couldn't stop me from being me, and neither could anyone else. I was ready to be Temari, and that's what I do best. Little did I know, Beatris had a bigger impact on me than I thought. That impact would soon hit me.....hard. It would also screw up a few things I almost had perfect.