ANOMALY

Chapter 1

I've thought about ending my life numerous times, through self harm, multiple failed suicide attempts, but even at that,

I am a failure.

Everything was a mess until Greg showed in my life.

I stopped cutting myself, I stopped thinking about killing myself, I thought it was all good, for once, finally.

Because Greg was in my life.

I ran away from my family as soon highschool finished because they were suffocating me with their eerie actions and beings. I still have to be cautious of everything around me.

I haven't reached to my mother after my escape.

She didn't bother reaching as well, nor did any of my sisters or my brother. They went along as if I didn't exist, Thankfully, and I proceeded to do the same.

The only one who did reach to me from time to time was my aunt, she somehow found my contacts and it was hard to avoid her, but she wasn't trying to make me go back.

Somehow, I don't miss them at all, I have Greg, well...

I... had Greg.

It was all good, or at least I thought I did...

I, pretended?

Greg is the love of my life, the one who gave me courage to continue despite me dealing with my mental health.

They say god gives the toughest battles to the strongest warriors. However, I know I am no warrior, I am not tough enough to get through life without him.

The time seemed to have stopped, everything feels the same. I don't know what will happen to me and my kids.

It's like somehow... I can still feel his presence, fainting slower and slower each day passes by.

Since I lost my job by being absent for two weeks, we are going to have to move quickly.

My aunt contacted me recently and she was open to me and my children moving in with her for the meantime until I can somehow secure another job and gather enough money to get us an apartment.

I told her about me losing my job and soon I would lose the house as well, and she encouraged me to come and live with her for as much as I'd feel the need to.

- Hey Jillian, how are you doing?

- I'm doing fine aunt Jane.

- How are the kids, Bina and Sam, are they well?

I became thoughtless.

- Yes, they're fine too.

The call was occupied by silence.

- How are you coping about Greg?

I didn't answer. No word could come from my mouth regarding Greg.

I hear aunt Jane briefly sigh before speaking.

- Jillian, I know you won't accept thi but...

She slowly pauses.

- You can always come here and, move in, with me, until you have enough to get your own apartment.

- Thanks aunt Jane. but...

I wanted to reject her offer, since she resides now in my deceased-mothers house. I had all the right minds to reject her offer right then and there but, I had no other choice, it's either that or go homeless.

I can't leave my kids without a home.

- Is something wrong Jillian?

She responded with a slightly concerned voice.

I took a deep breath, feeling my lungs trying to reach out of my body as my chest expanded, I let it out before properly responding.

- No, no, it's nothing... really.

- Are you sure sweetie?

Again, with that comforting-concerned voice.

- Yeah, it's fine.

I rest my tone.

- I'll think about it and let you know in a few days.

- Alright Jillian, I'll be waiting for your response. Take your time.

- Thanks aunt Jane.

I stop the call and leave my phone on the counter as I try to get out of my bed after being in it since last week.

I feel rested rather than tired.

- That's weird.

I said to myself after finally standing on my two own feet slowly approaching the window to glance at the neighborhood street.

I hear Bina and Sam from outside of my room, they're at the door with their ears pushed besides the wooden door of my room.

I could hear them talk.

- Do you think mom is okay? Will she wake up today?

- I don't know Sam.

I feel a ginormous burden filled with guilt for unknowingly abandoning my children for these past days.

I decided to softly stomp my feet against the floor as I approached the door as a sign to let them know that I'm awake.

After touching the door handle, I heard their footsteps swiftly rush away from the door and head to the living room.

I opened the door and started approaching the living room. I felt heavy, because for the past two weeks I've hardly done anything around the house.

My neighbor, Esther, helped feeding them, showered them and got them ready for school while I was coping in my room filled with a murderous silence and a noiseless ambiance to accompany with my silent grief.

As I enter the living room, Bina and Sam run towards me and hug me. I breakdown crying and hugged them back, I missed their scents.

The three of us lying there on the ground comforting each other in silence while tearing up.

- I-I'm sorry.

My voice shakingly coming out of my mouth from crying.

- It's okay mom.

Bina said as she wipes my tears with her hands.

I pulled both of them close and kissed them on their little heads. I forgot how much the both of them resemble Greg. Bina has his eyes and Sam has his looks.

I never felt Greg's presence this much since his passing.

My breath began to slow down and my heart rates began to beat normally.

I need to be here for my kids, I can't give up, I can't let anything happen to them.

Greg's death was definitely not an accident, not even a natural one. That's what I'm sure for.