God, I miss Wattpad! The old Wattpad and the old reader me. Sometimes my old life too.
I've been away from here for quite long now. And not because I enjoy but because I'm just stuck. I feel suck in my life since months. I'm not reading, I'm not writing (much) |I resumed just a week or two ago.. that you'll get to read by the end of this year I hope| Angelic Demon readers, if you are here, you are getting an update in two days! Back to being stuck: I'm not studying, though I have to... I am not! Neither I have a job. I had one earlier.
Last year was FABULOUS! I was living my dream. Main character energy. I swear. Got graduated, cracked my very first interview and had a job before the announcement of my final results. The job was also in India's not one of the top but THE TOP COMPANY. I was so excited!
What seemed like GOLDEN Opportunity was later such disappointment. Like, I was the only girl in the department that had 14 people. I was youngest of all but my rank was higher. They had experience and age. It obviously got tiring and awkward not having a female colleague or someone of my age or near. Plus, they didn't give the raise that was promised after completion of my training and also increased the working hours by almost 2 hours! The company had nothing to offer except for the low salary. And this was THE NO.1 COMPANY. The words: Naam bade darshanchote turned real for me. Eventually I called a quit when my labour wasn't valued.
I'm not exactly jobless. I'm tutoring few kids but you know people. TEACHING BHI KOI JOB HAI?! Class 10 ke bhi students tuition padha lete hai. Tu Masters karke yeh kar rahi hai?
You are not working unless you have a- for saying 9 to 5 but actually mostly till 7:30 job. Exhausting yourself doing what you don't enjoy. Well, most jobs are like that. That doesn't mean I can't complain, right?
Then this age is so confusing! Some of my friends are earning well, some are engaged, some married while some are travelling but here I am... Sitting idle, watching their stories, congratulating them and thinking of myself as a failure. Already.
I'm 24... I don't deserve feeling this way, 2-4 saal aur toh jaane do. Bachchi hu yaar aur mere classmates ke bachche horahe hai. 😂
Then I've my friends reminding me how lonely my live is- I still don't have a boyfriend- Ab nahi to kab?
First of all girl, blame it on SANAM. I wanna beat the shit out of 16 years old Warisha. The day she led eyes on that band then Jajta hi nahi aankhon mein koi! It's been 8 years! EIGHT YEARS! Itne to relationship bhi nahi chalte. Khud band members k bhi nahi jitna mere crush chal raha hai. The four of them must have had 9-10 relationship combined if not more. 😂 It's cheating!
Shaadi- Log shaadi ke liye bhi puchne lage hai because you know- Sab chat-pat thodi hojata hai, dekhne-sunne mein hi 1-2 saal lag jaate hai. Yaar. Jitni tension parents ko nahi hoti, utni to aas-paas k log, rishtedaar aur neighbours ko hoti hai! Mere parents thak gaye logo ko mana karte karte. 🤦
Honestly, seeing my classmate and friends being mingled, engaged or married is making me think... Sach mein hogayi hai kya? Par mujhe arrange marriage nahi karna and socializing mujhse hoti nahi hai. 😭
I went for an outing only this month after April! April! That was the time I resigned from my job to this! September. Ghanta koi milega. 🙄
Now padhai- Do I really love literature? Yes, I do! Phir padha kyu nahi jaa raha? Matlab kya hai iska? 😭😭
Atleast do one thing sincerely! One thing! Everyone is excelling in one way or other; what am I doing? No matter how much I remind myself - it's okay. It's just the beginning. We have a long way to go. But yaar still!
The crush change horaha hai na zindagi.🥺
I wanna spend but I also have to save! Not that I've much to spend.🙄
I wanna explore but don't wanna leave my bed, then forget about home!
I want a partner but my peace too. 😂
I want a job and balance my studies too.
I don't even have a happening friend circle man. Seeing you all hanging out, laughing and enjoying with your friends at cafes make me feel a loner (and broke). 😂
What the fudge stage is this?
Please tell me I'm not the one having these crisis. 🥺 And if anyone from you say 'same', whose stories I've seen from the things I've mentioned. Kuch to sharm karlo! 😂
But theek bhi hai- it's not necessary that you are enjoying your work or have your life together just because you are savouring food, sipping on coffees with friends. But having these things do distract us from our crisis. And sometimes, distraction are good.
Apne aukaat k bahaar wake crush ko hi dekh lo. 😍🤤
Aditya Roy Kapur. 🙈
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Manifesting myself a good grade in Masters, a high salaried job and a perfect book character like partner- Tall, dusky, understanding and emotionally stable (ha! 😂 Not ruining with the writing the negative thoughts here😝). Masha Allah I have a peaceful life, now I want luxury along with my peaceful life. Being clear with my goals here. Koi doubt nahi chahiye. 😂
