FINDING MR WRONG (B1)

Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

   For three days we stayed at the hospital, and on the final day, Jamison had the go-ahead to go home. As expected, he still wasn't out of the woods yet because he still needed a lot of rest and medication. Sadly, I knew going back home meant I'd have to deal with the consequences of everything. That's including the conception of my baby.
Karah was the first to question me after showning up at my door, not long after we returned home. I half expected her to slap me again, but she didn't. In fact, it surprised me to see her hold Jamison again. She asked if it was okay, and while sitting there with him in her arms, she cried.
"I can't believe I didn't see it before. He looks just like him. I can't believe any of this. All this time, Jolie. You've kept this hidden all this time. Why, how could you do this to my family? To my mother?"
My body jumps, and I'm about to ask about that, but she carried on, making me exhale a long breath. One I hadn't realised I'd been holding on to.

"No, I've not told her yet. Hell, I'm not even sure where to start. I guess I wanted to hear your side of it. You know, rather than my dad's. He's not making much sense, and frankly, I don't want to even look at him. I'm disgusted with him right now. I'd seen it that first day in town. Just the way he looked at you and you with him was nuts. I saw it, but I tried to shut it down. I thought he wouldn't do anything. Christ, how wrong was I?
I have to admit though, I'm not surprised he cheated. If I'm honest, they never see each other so they were bound to get lonely. Don't think for a second, I condone it. I'll never understand or agree with it. Hell, just the gap alone is a lot to take in. I'm trying not to think about it, it's messing with my head. Jolie, you're practically the same age as me and he's my dad. Ugh, I can't."

She shook her head. It's like she's trying to rid herself of the image of us together. It's like it repulses her.

"Of course, I can't blame all this mess on you. My dad should've known better. What was going through his head I'll never know, but to go this far and to have a secret baby... Shit, it's crazy. What's even crazier is that this little guy is my brother. All this time, I've been holding my baby brother. I had no clue."
I can't help it when I smile through my tears.
"I know, and I can't say sorry enough. Karah, this, all this killed me. I've not slept in months. I've felt so guilty. I've pushed you away, all because I couldn't stop the overwhelming need to tell you everything. I hated lying to you. I missed you so much that, every time I thought of you and what we did tore me apart."
I'm about to carry on when she cuts in, asking if I loved him.
"You know, my dad. Did you love him?"
She must see the answer in my eyes because before I can answer, she nods.
"I-I didn't just love him, Karah. I was in love with him and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I still do. Only, after everything that's happened, I also hate him. He's ruined my life after he allowed me to carry on loving him while knowing he didn't feel the same. I know it's no excuse, and I know I should've walked away. Hell, I had tried to, but he promised me he'd eventually tell your mum.
He promised that in time he would leave her to be with me. I fell for his words, too. I tried to walk away, but he asked me not to go. So I stayed, thinking he'll keep his promise. The day he received the call about your aunt, it was too late for me. I was in too deep. Karah, I'd fallen hard for him. Yet the moment he received that call, he walked away from me.
The same day I was rushed to the hospital and my mother broke the news I was pregnant. That same day, I not only lost him but my home, and my family. I've lost everything while he carried on with his sham of a marriage. Sorry, I know this is hard for you, but you've even said it yourself it's messed up. He told me himself they're living a loveless marriage. But still, he couldn't leave her. Two weeks after he made his promises, I hadn't heard a thing from him. I sent countless messages, telling him we needed to talk. I told him I was in the hospital too, which killed me because he didn't even care enough to see how I was. It was the day you went to the dentist when I finally got to speak to him. I told him I was pregnant, and he basically said to get rid. He basically said we were done because I was having his child. Don't get me wrong, I knew we were over when he'd left me to go to your mum. Again, I don't expect you to understand, but he'd ripped my heart out and then stamped all over it.
He was my first kiss, Karah... my first with everything. I gave my heart to him and he didn't even care one bit about me. I've lost everything and all I have left to show for what I felt for him us a shattered heart, and Jamison. He's all I have in this world. Believe me, I'm damned if he thinks he can just show up and get away with demanding shit!"

I'm up and out of my chair, just needing to settle my rising temper. I'm still mad at him because he destroyed everything.
Karah's quiet, and I don't blame her either. I expect nothing from her. If anything, she should be mad at me, even yelling at me for what we did. Hell, she shouldn't even be here, talking to me. But still, I understand her need to know.
Just as I'm about to apologise again, Jamison tells us he's hungry. Naturally, I move to take him, but she surprised me by asking if she can feed him. I'm wondering why she'd even want to do this? I asked this too, but all she said was "He's here now. We can't change it, but I'm damned, too, if I don't get to know my only sibling. Even if this situation's messed up. I'll never forgive, or forget, but there's a baby stuck in the middle of this. His daddy might be a prat, but I won't walk away. Only, my mother will need to know about him. Jolie, we can't keep this from her. I cannot do it. So, whatever the outcome, it's on you and my dad. I won't walk away from him. He'll need his big sis to look after him when this blows up in all our faces. Besides, I think you've been punished enough without me adding to it. Whatever my mum brings, I'll only be able to protect this little one."

***

Sometime later...

  *Jolie, you need to brace yourself. She knows. I don't know what she'll do, but just be careful. Don't allow my brother to get mixed up in this shit. I swear, any harm comes to him? I'll go crazy in all your backsides.*

As much as I'm freaking out here, I still end up smiling when I read how protective she is over her little brother. Granted, she's still not happy about what I've done, which is fine. Just her wanting to protect Jamison is enough. Her mother though... No doubt she'll want to torture me. Only, while I wait for the knock at my door, it never came. Why the hell isn't she here? Shouldn't she be like wanting my blood by now? This is worse. It's way worse than her actually kicking the crap out of me. It's the "not knowing" what she'll do. That right there is what's truly getting to me.