My World Turned Out To Be A Delusion

4 | Manipulation

After that night 10 years ago I discovered the unbelievable. I had a way of manipulating the mind.
I could cause people to feel agonising pain to the extent of not breathing. I could command people to do whatever I wished with just one word from my mind.

I'm aware that many may think of this as a gift. Or see as though I am fortunate for possessing such an ability. But I think otherwise. I hated the idea of manipulating someone.

It made me feel as if I was on the same page as my mother. A manipulative snake preying on the weak. I despise the idea and take whatever means possible to avoid using it.

I furrow my brows as I think about it with the slight wind brushing my face.

After I decided to no longer be in denial of this abilities existence when I was 9, I decided to enhance it instead.

To gain control over it and avoid individuals wincing whenever eye contact was made. And to also avoid a repeat of the episode with my mother.

Because I was very young and still adjusting to my some what new life I practiced on small animals like birds or rabbits I'd see now and then out my room window.

I'd normally go for morning strolls as well with Ben before he'd leave for work. It gave me time to practice on the morning singing sparrows and occasional azure blue jays.

Once I had gained confidence in small animals I upgraded to larger animals such as dogs and cats. I even took the risks of wild animals when me and the Evergardens visited the animal zoo. 

It was my favourite place to go to. Not only to enhance my ability but because I adored animals. I loved how free they looked and how protective the mother lions were over their cubs.

It was a memorable sight.

While I was practicing on the animals my goal was to control the intensity of the command. For example if I wanted the animal to run. I would attempt to control the speed of the animal.

It was all depending on my focus. My focus was the key of my control.

If I intensified my focus the speed of the animal would increase. Vice versa when I applied less focus.

However I came to realise that animals were disappointingly different compared with people. And had to eventually learn control over human minds.

As much as I rebelled against the idea I had a benefit that was worth going against my will. The benefit of having control and competence of my yet to be named ability. I would also gain security within myself.

And possibly the safety of others.

Over the years I improved significantly. And am able to control my ability well.

Even so I still depend on not using it unless desperately needed. The fact of similarity between me and my deceased mother creates a sour taste in my mouth.

I haven't told the Evergardens about this yet. That I posses this cursed existence. I don't know what they'd think. I get scared of the fact that I can't even guess how they would react to this.

I can't help but think of the possibility of them abandoning me and kicking me out. I'm scared.

I know I've grown too attached to them over the years but I can't help it. They've become apart of me now. And I care much to deeply to loose them.

I arch my head back leaning on the wall behind me, peering at the sky. I close my eyes until it's dark and breath. Releasing whatever negative thoughts remain in my head.

I sit there feeling lax. Listless.

Before I know it I'm sleeping.

Authors note: To andreL880
I'm very sorry I've been so busy I didn't get to see your comment until now and even worse the app isn't letting me reply or dm you. And unfortunately I don't have instagram. It really is a shame I really did want those tips on writing. However thank you very much for your support and time i hope you'll enjoy yourself. This was very very much appreciated thank you 😊