Sun and Stone

V

Gray continued to pace while I searched his face for traces of the friend I once trusted. Watching him move, I tried to become accustomed to watching something so large move so quickly. The longer I watched, the more I could focus on his familiar gait, his posture, and finally I could identify other feelings crossing his face, transforming it back into a calmer visage. I recognized regret and shame fighting for prominence. He was coming back down off of his high horse, and maybe even seeing how much he had scared me. He was still the person I trusted most in the world, but perhaps we did have some things to work out. Everything he did seemed more exaggerated, but perhaps this was simply due to there being so much more of him now. When he turned and stalked back around the fire towards me, I stood and backed up, stumbling when the back of my knees hit the pile of green fabric. My fear became less warranted when Gray veered to the right, away from me. He looked at me apologetically before falling back against the rock wall and sliding down into a defeated slump against the cliffside, his leges bent close his body.

He didn't look at me again, instead letting his head fall back and looking up into the night sky. We were quiet as I waited for Gray to break the silence first, still unsure of his mood. "I'm sorry, El. I don't know what came over me, but there's really no excuse for that. I can't very well tell you that I'll leave you alone. I don't know how to help you. Everything I do scares you."

Seeing the pain in his face, my anger softened and I found myself slowly approaching him. I stopped outside of easy reaching distance and sat down near the edge of the fire pit. Faced away from him, I stared down into the glowing embers of the dying fire, letting the silence lengthen. Feeling myself sliding into forgiveness, I pushed away the questions I had about trusting Gray and what was causing his overt reactions. He was the most important person to me, and I wanted to believe there was a way through this situation simply because we were together.

"Look, this is extremely freaky, for both of us. But we are still Gray and El. We can work this out. We just need to make some compromises. We need to listen, and communicate and all that psychological nonsense." I lapsed back into silence, frustrated that I still felt nervous sitting so close to my friend. My skin felt like it was crawling with ants, like I could sense every breath Gray took. I couldn't seem to let myself relax in his presence, despite my forgiveness.

Breaking from these thoughts, I looked behind me to see Gray's hand lying palm up a few feet away, like an invitation. My first response was disdain and rejection. Was he crazy? There was no way I was hopping into his hand after what just happened. But then I realized by looking up to his face that he was wanting to offer comfort, and apologize. It was an open invitation that I could refuse.

I was still considering the hand that was as big as a twin bed when he spoke. "Come on. We gotta do this eventually. How else are we gonna get home tomorrow?" I glared at him, before turning back to glower at the embers at my feet.

"I can still walk."

"Be serious. It would take you a day to cover a single mile, and the bus stop is another twenty from here, over rough terrain that is much harder for you now."

I wasn't struggling with his logic. It did make the most sense. But the reality of the situation staring me in the face was making me angry. I wasn't a child, some pathetic thing that needed help. I didn't know how to be this person that couldn't be left alone, who had to be carried around. I didn't want to ask for help, and now Gray was forcing it on me. The fire in my chest began to spread again as my annoyance and frustration grew.

"Hey, you're doing it again!" Gray sounded concerned, but there was also a note of awe in his voice.

I didn't understand what he was talking about until I registered that the area around me was growing brighter, almost like daylight even though sunrise was still hours away. Looking down at myself, I saw that my skin had taken on a luminescence that was steadily building, shining through my dirty shirt. "You have got to be kidding me!" I jumped to my feet, brushing my hands over my torso as if this were caused by glow paint that would wipe off. Stopping to look at my arms where the light had spread, I could see the light was not coming from my skin, but the veins beneath, filling my whole system with a glow like sunlight.