Sojourning Home

chapter 1

EURIC
[Music: Forgot About Us - Keenan Te]

“I love you, Euric.”

That was the last message I got from him. This was two years ago. The same date as now.

Niyakap ko ang aking sarili nang maramdaman ang lamig ng gabi. I sat on the bonnet of my car. I was at a secluded mini-park someplace in the vicinity of our city. I was here for the cityscape.

I just missed him so much. I smiled bitterly while trying to lose myself in the middle of this pain. I shook my head to distract myself from crying, but my eyes started to warm up. And just like that, I lost my balance at the edge of this lonely night.

“I feel so fucked up because of you, Wesley,” I said between my sobs.

I messed up. I messed the fuck up.

“I miss you, Wesley.” I slumped myself on the ground while wiping the sides of my eyes. I missed all the things we had. His arms, his presence, his eyes, his lips, his voice, him.

Why did he have to die? Among all, why him? He wasn’t deserving death. I prayed for him, but nothing happened.

“FUCK YOU!” I shouted at the top of my lungs. Naramdaman ko ang pagsikip ng aking dibdib. Hindi ko pa rin maibsan ‘yung sakit ng pagkawala niya. Hanggang ngayon, andoon pa rin ‘yung kahilingang sana narito pa rin siya.

I was yearning to have him back to life. Nangungulila ako for all those years, I was still crying over his death. Nang nawala siya, parang nawala na rin ‘yung kagustuhan kong mabuhay. Wesley was the only one I was leaning on, until he was gone.

Why do I act as if he’s still here? Why do I keep holding on when he’s already gone?

“I’m leaving now, Wesley.” Tumayo na ako at inayos ang sarili. For the last time, I gently closed my eyes and grasped. I exhaled to compose myself. The cold breeze quickly dried my eyes.

I started the engine, but I glanced at the lone streetlight before taking my way back to the city. It was already nine in the evening. The road was so dark, but there were few streetlights in every 20 meters.

It was quite comforting to drive in a sullen, but peaceful road. Unlike the hectic highways. The smell of gas, the juxtaposition of people’s perfumes, and the noises. They seriously irk the hell out of me.

I was driving down the road when suddenly I noticed a car approaching. It was rare to see people coming here in fact that it was abandoned and remote from the city. Napabilis ako sa pagmaneho nang matanaw ko ang isang kotse na pasuraysuray sa daan mula sa hindi kalayuan. Mabilis akong nag-panic nang makitang binangga nito ang isang puno kaya agad akong napatungo roon.

I froze when I stepped out of the car. Everything flashed back. Wesley died in a car accident. My hands were shaking. I looked at the man bleeding inside, he was unconscious. Mabilis kong kinuha ang phone ko at tinawagan ang 911.

I was stupefied and wasn’t able to speak because of the trauma. But regardless, I forced myself to move. I checked if there was a tendency for explosion, fortunately, the bumper was firm enough to resist the impact. I was hindered by the flashing pictures of Wesley asking for help like a glitch corrupting my sight. I was taken aback, but I tried to disregard for someone needed my help. The sides of my eyes started to warm up.

I felt the heavy weight in my chest. It was hard to carry. My knees were trembling and if I wouldn’t control myself, I might stumble down. My heartbeats were racing.

“P-Please hold on,” I stuttered. I reached his hand when he regained his consciousness. He was cold, weak, and I was shocked to see his swollen eyes. He was also reeking alcohol.

“A-Am I going to d-die?” he weakly asked.

“No, you won’t. The rescuers are on their way. Please, hold on!” My eyes started to tear up when I saw how he suffered from the pain. I could see Wesley’s face, but I tried to dismiss it.

Wesley...

“L-Let me die, p-please... T-There’s no life to live anymore.” His eyes started to become watery. But his clutch said otherwise. It was triggering all that happened during Wesley’s last moments in the car. I could see him in this man’s teary eyes.

“No. I won’t let that happen.” I spotted a slit on his neck probably from the shards, I grabbed my clean handkerchief and put it on to stop the bleeding.

“Those who left don’t want us to suffer, either follow them. If you still have your life, then live it. Not everyone... Can live long.”

“P-Please, save m-me...” That was the last thing I heard from him before he passed out. My eyelids pursed, I couldn’t look at him. His grip was loosing up.

My man also died in a car accident. It hurt seeing this man fighting for his life, and it would break me if I would fail to save him and allow his death to scar those who will be left behind. If he is still capable of living, then he should.

I stayed there until the rescuers arrived. It wasn’t long until they came to help.

“Salamat po, sir.” Maingat niyang iniabot sa akin ang isang piraso ng basang pamunas para sa madugong kamay ko.

My sight followed the unconscious man being carefully carried to the ambulance. I reported to the police about what happened. It seemed like the man was plastered and preoccupied while driving so he wasn’t able to focus. Or was he?

Pagdating ko sa bahay ay tila namamanhid ang mga kamay ko, marahil ay dahil sa kaba kanina, at dahil na rin sa lamig ng gabi. Matulin akong pumaroon sa banyo para maligo para ma-refresh ang utak ko ngayong gabi.

Sabog nanaman ako bukas nito.

EURIC VENDLE
AGE: 18
GRADE 12; HUMSS

Agad na gumapang ang pagod sa buong katawan ko, kaya naman itinulog ko na lamang ang lahat at hiniling na sana panaginip lang ang lahat ng ito.