My Biography

Some days I ccould vomit

Just by looking in the mirror at my upper body...
I could vomit at the fact that a creature could grow inside me...
I can't or rather don't want to look at my upper body in the mirror, my lower body is okay to look at, my backside too... but not my upper front...
I was extremely happy every time I cut my hair short... well in a old school male kind of way...

I can look at men and women and say they are attractive but not want a relationship with them...
I was uncomfortable the first time I had sex because the light was on and he wanted me to get rid of my shirt...

I have no idea what I am or what I want to be...
I just know I don't want to be alone...
I would love to have a relationship with someone at some point but I am not comfortable being the way I am...

I know I don't want to be dead...

I just want to be accepted for being myself...
For not wanting to be treated as a burden...
I don't want to be treated as a woman sometimes because I am uncomfortable in my own body...
I sometimes don't want to be treated as a women like me being too emotional or anything weak...

I want to be comfortable being who I am and not being put into a box because of my biological gender. And them trying to find a right box to be fitting into their thinking system...

I want to be myself and not be judged for anything but my actions and behavior.

I am tired of people making assumptions about me just because I am a biological female person:

I am biologically female so I should wear dresses... They make my stomach hurt because my legs are cold. Even long dresses are like that!

I am biologically female so I should wear my hair long... I love my short "male" hairstyle!

I am biologically female so I should shave my legs... I don't want to because it's such a hustle!

I am biologically female so I should look out for my eating habits... I eat more because I am doing sports! And of course I watch what I eat... but not eating enough is not healthy!

I am biologically female so I should have normal bras... what the hell? I am uncomfortable in these! I don't want to see my neckline, or rather the valley on my upper front body...

I am biologically female so I should have a pantsuit... but I am more comfortable in a "normal" suit for men! I like the way it fits around my shoulders and arms...

I am biologically female so I should know how to do makeup... Ugh! Just no! I know how to show my amazingly long eyelashes but other than that I don't need it! And even longer eyelashes (with makeup are not needed!

I am biologically female so I shouldn't wear underwear for men... I'm more comfortable in them...

I am biologically female so I should buy female trousers or pants whatever you may call them... Male trousers have pockets and even bigger ones!

I am biologically female so no one wants me burping in public... So? Who wants these so called men to burb in public? For me they either don't have manners or are simply put pigs!

I am biologically female so I shouldn't sit like a man... WTF? I'm more comfortable like this!

I am biologically female so I should help people... Don't tell me what to do? I already am helping!

I am a human being.

That's all that should matter!