My Biography

Loneliness and bedtimestories

I don't know if I eventually be able to have sex with another person...

I can't even look at a man's penis or balls
I am always ready to throw up seeing one during my time working as a caregiver in the local hospital...

Well with women I can look at them and not be disgusted some still give me the chills but that's because of their personality and hygiene...

I don't even know what I think sex is...
Is it in my head that only people that have a dick can have sex or something like that? Well not quite... I guess I think I believe you would need a male partner to have sex...
At least I think that's what I think...

Well... I'm still not comfortable with looking at my body in the mirror... my hips are too wide too female...
I have boobs
And my female nipples... I can't look at them... I don't even want to see them in my own shadow and dark reflection of my window...

Is something wrong with me?

Otherwise I'm really happy.

The only things that keep me up at night are my body and pure idea of sex...

I don't know what sexuality I have I just know I don't want to have no partner...
I would love to go on a date someday like a real one, a real old-fashioned one like I don't know not going to the movies but eating somewhere nice spending quality time together talking with each other listening to each other watching a movie at home or eat something ice cream whatever or just meet up at some lake and go swimming or do some activity together Well not Volleyball but we could also do Volleyball but still

I don't want to spend my time all alone... it's okay if I have my phone

I love cuddling and spending quality time with each other! Be it just sitting and talking and listening or going somewhere busy.

Wow writing this makes me sound so lonely...
I have friends who I love and who accept me... they can't always be there but I know I have them and will hold them dear to me for as long as they are my friends...

I know I can talk to them anytime and share my thoughts and problems and happiness. My best friend will tell me the cold hard truth. And I am so thankful for her!
For a long time I didn't even know what was going on in her life but now she comes to me sometimes and tells me about her hard days. I try to support her the best way I can.
I really love her! And I hope she lives longer than me so I won't have to cry at her grave or something...

And although I might lose her one day I'll keep holding onto my best friend forever!
I'm glad I met you!