The Taisho fire

Are you for real ?

Are you for real ?

Tōga's feet had a mind of their own, carving a trench between his kitchen and living room. Better here, in his flat, rather than in front of Gwen's building.

His little lady needed space; what kind of stalker would he be if he remained by her front door, waiting for her to emerge tomorrow morning ? The idea wrenched a chuckle out of his throat; he'd be like a knight of old waiting upon his queen. Or rather... a guard dog.

Yes, she was the new queen of his heart, had he even told her ? It felt so normal to have her here, in his diminutive apartment, that fundamentals things remained in the shadows. Such as the fact that he loved her. Even though his ex wife had dubbed him a charmer, Tōga lacked the eloquence to voice his feelings; to him, actions spoke better than words.

But Gwen was now gone. Didn't want to impose. Wanted to sort her thoughts out. She needed a little space to find the proper pace in their relationship, who was he to refuse her ? At fifty-two, Tōga knew what he wanted; his own mind was better used to new situations, separations and matters of the heart. But Gwen wasn't so experienced, he needed her to be free to make her own choices. Perhaps this lack of freedom had been the cause of his marriage's downfall; karma had bound Izayoi and himself so tightly that neither of them had pondered on the idea of free will. They met, fell in love, married, and were tied by the string of fate.

The gentle tap tap of the rain outside brought a little peace to his fraying nerves. And a welcome reprieve from the heat. Tōga wouldn't admit it to his little lady, but his instincts balked at the very idea of separation. Now that he had found her, slept with her, kept her safe in his arms at night, letting go raised his hackles.

Gwen was his.

MINE.

And she needed to figure it out, in a familiar environment, away from him. For he knew how overbearing his presence was. Gwen had no other option than to pay attention to him when he was around. Even when he didn't try to catch her attention, her eyes followed him everywhere. In the mornings, when she wasn't awake yet and slumbered happily in his arms, he could feel his yōki wrap around her. Night and day, his demonic energy reached to tuck her inside his aura.

It was no wonder she needed to regroup. He'd kicked her world upside down with both his affection, and his revelations. Even with the sight, Gwen had never dated a reincarnated yōkai twice her age. At some point, those circumstances were bound to take a toll on human mind. He hoped, so dearly, that jumping in the fray had not been a mistake, that her youth wouldn't create problems they couldn't recover from.

Tōga sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. 9pm. It was high time he ate dinner. Would he be able to sleep ? Stupid heart; ten years on his own, and he was behaving like a lovesick puppy. He would see her tomorrow at the station, and she might very well spend the next evening with him. Perhaps he could give her the present he had picked up this very night. Would she like it ? Allow him to...

Get a grip.

Dinner was uneventful, two bowls of white rice, an egg, a piece of bacon and the news. The chocolates didn't tempt him; they were tastier when Gwen shared them with him. Hours dragged on, he switched on channels to find something interesting to watch. The rain eventually picked up intensity, and he took a peek at the clock of his TV box. 10.15pm. Perhaps a good book in bed would be better than these inane police shows.

The sound of footsteps in the stairs of the station caused his ears to perk; if he'd really been a dog, they would be rising upon his silver head. The former general froze, waiting. The absence of blaring siren told him there was no emergency at the station; who dared climbing that last set of steps at this hour ?

A discreet rasp on the door, and the familiar scent fleeted in the corridor. The handle turned, revealing a very soaked through Gwen with a massive suitcase. Joy and incredulity exploded in his chest when Tōga jumped to his feet, the bottle of water toppling over his coffee table. She laughed, then, at his usual clumsiness. Her mirth was swallowed in the planes of his chest when he engulfed her in a mighty hug, relief making his knees weak.

She's back !

Tōga didn't register how his t-shirt was now soaked, too lost in happiness. Before his brain could process it, he descended upon her lips and kissed her. Thoroughly. Tongue demanding, he invaded her mouth. She wrapped herself around him, her wet arms caging him with purpose, bringing him closer. Eventually, Tōga consented to grant her a breath and cupped her cheeks, his eyes dancing with joy.

"My little lady...", he rasped. "I love you."

Gwen blinked, her eyes misting over as she kissed the corner of his mouth.

"Definitely not puppy love", she murmured, her hand tracing his forehead gently to smooth the crease between his eyebrows. "But you still have the puppy eyes. What is wrong, beloved ?"

All the pent-up tension of the evening crashed upon him, and Tōga crushed her to his chest his nose diving in the crook of her neck. He took a deep whiff, inhaling her fragrance; peace crept up his spine at the familiar scent.

"Don't leave me... please."

Tōga cursed himself for showing such weakness; begging was beneath the Inu no Taishō. But Izayoi had broken his heart when she'd walked out their front door, and he wouldn't survive Gwen doing the same. Insecurities, long buried, were resurfacing to bite him in the ass. He cursed his human psyche, so much weaker than the former yōkai.

A sharp intake of breath was her response, and she tightened her hold on him before she dropped a kiss upon his temple.

"I'm sorry, this is my fault."

"No...", he groaned in her neck.

Two determined little hands cupped his cheeks, bringing his eyes level to hers. In her stormy eyes swirled love and fierceness.

"Whatever happens, Toga, I'll always return to you. It was plain stupid to leave. I thought I needed time to process... us. But the moment I realised I was going to sleep without you, it just seemed so absurd. Life without you just makes no sense at all. It might seem crazy, but it's like I never existed before us."

Tōga's heart filled with joy; her feelings mirrored his own. And he trusted her. Her reassurance allowed him to pull away and take in the huge suitcase she had probably dragged up the stairs.

"You should have called."

What was she thinking, dragging this monster in the rain ? Without a coat on ?

"I didn't want to wake you. And honestly, I felt a little stupid."

Stupid for thinking I could live without you, even for a night.