Hatred (JeffBarcode)

luftmensch(1)

Jeff slapped Barcode in drunkenness. Everything suddenly faded in front of the little boy, he opened his eyes widely as pain started spreading across his red cheek.

-Damn it! It was all because of you that she left, you must bring her back, it was all your fault!

Jeff, whose voice was filled with rage, whispered into his ear. His indignant look was so haunting that it caused Barcode to shed a tear.

-P'Jeff...

He was too drunk to function

A feeling of guilt took over Jeff when he saw his little baby crying.He immediately became sober and was shocked realizing who was standing in front of him the whole time .

Barcode sighed softly, he lowered his head and turned his back to enter his house.

-Barcode...

-It's really late now, get inside quickly and I'll make you some ginger tea

Jeff looked at Barcode with deep grief, he tried to reach out and touch his baby's cheek but was rejected. He was speechless at that moment.

-I'm really sorry,Barcode.

-You don't need to say sorry, it was all my fault.

Barcode shook his head and smile, but he did not look happy at all. All of a sudden, Jeff felt like hugging and caressing him with all his care. Barcode, despite his young age, had to go through such sufferings lately.

He wiped his tear and walked inside the house, left the man numb at the door.

-Come in quickly, it's cold outside, you'll get sick if you keep standing still.

He followed the little boy inside, he regretted drinking too much, he would not do so if he knew that Barcode was coming over that night. He just could not hide his feelings, he missed that girl.

-Sit and wait for a bit, I'll bring you tea.

Barcode's innocent voice echoed in the cold, cheerless house. He has always been caring about Jeff, unfortunately, he never received any reply from the one he admired the most. He returned to the sofa with a cup of tea, he put it on the coffee table while looking at Jeff who was sound asleep. He was gorgeous, his charming look could not be found anywhere else in this whole world.

-..Maei..please don't leave me...baby, please don't

-Maei..please don't leave me...I'm sorry baby...

Jeff cried. The dark memory still haunted him in his dream, every single night. Barcode heard it all, he heard his beloved one crying buckets and buckets because of a girl in the past, but what could he do?

His heart was broken also, he realized a long time ago that meeting Jeff was the worst decision he had ever made in his life. Their lives should not have collided. The fact that Barcode was in love with Jeff, was a mistake itself.

P'Maei, she was a very nice girl. Barcode had seen her a few times in the studio. She took care of everyone on set, including him. As soon as he knew that P'Jeff and P'Maei were lovers, he did not have the courage to confess his real feelings anymore, he did not want to ruin a 5-year relationship. He knew that nothing could be changed, Jeff loved P'Maei so much that it was impossible for him to forget her.

Kinnporsche made it debut and achieved it success quickly. Barcode had to meet Jeff more frequently due to their busy schedule. He was still deeply in love with Jeff then, he loved him so much that he started seeing delusions. Jeff's caring attitude towards Barcode even made him think that it all deprived from his heart, although it was obvious that everything Jeff did was just fan services.

People started shipping them and hoping to see them together. Even Barcode himself wished that it would really happen.

But then one day, Jeff was caught red-handed with Maei. Barcode and Maei was snowed with criticisms from the public. Everyone was on their couple's side and started being aggressive with Maei, they sent her disgusting messages, gave her hundreds of calls everyday and made her fall into depression. Jeff felt pity for his lover and put all his hatred on all the people who were hurting her. Barcode knew that somewhere in Jeff's mind, there were bad impressions about him as well.

Life went on, people started forgetting about Maei and Jeff's scandal. However, Maei's condition was so bad due to the emotional damage she got from the haters that she could not keep going anymore. The day Maei was found dead inside her house, Barcode was in complete shock, he collapsed and tears started running down his face.

Barcode knew that Jeff had never gotten over the incident, his heart was broken since that day and there were no sign of it recovering. He used alcohol to hide from the truth that Maei had passed away. Jeff was once seen in the middle of the night in an empty alley, holding a cigarette with tears on his beautiful but full of agony face. Not until then did Barcode realize that P'Maei was more important than anything to Jeff, even more than him.

Barcode always had a desire to be loved by Jeff, he wanted to be the one who could comfort Jeff but it was impossible, only P'Maei had the ability to do so. In the little boy's mind, he was nothing but the cause of her death. He was in deep sorrow, no one understood him, he just wanted to end everything.

Barcode held Jeff's hand, trying to calm him down while the nightmare was taking control of him. The boy softly whispered:

-Please don't cry, I'm still here, I'm still by your side. It hurts seeing you suffer like this...

He cried buckets and buckets in the middle of the night without anyone noticing, no one could comprehend his complicated thoughts, even Barcode himself.

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After that night, Barcode did not come to Jeff's house so often like before, ignoring P'Apo, P'Build and even Jeff himself whenever they invited him to come over. He decided to stay home with all the wounds and sadness.

Perhaps P'Mile had noticed something, he dragged little Barcode out of the ongoing conversation to a quieter corner. He asked cautiously :

-Jeff has done something wrong and made you sad lately, hasn't he?

Barcode's smile immediately faded, he sputtered:

-N-no, P'Jeff has always been very nice to me, there is nothing wrong between us lately.

-Barcode, I know that you have gone through lots of hardship recently. You and Jeff, you guys are both exhausted. I think you understand the fact that the incident was not your fault at all. Netizens are the one who forced Maei to take her own life, not you.

-P'Mile, I know everyone loves her and you all just want to comfort me, but it was all my fault. If I hadn't gone to the casting, if I hadn't met P'Jeff and got close to him, if...I had never existed, things wouldn't have gone this way. I was to blame for everything.

Tears welled up in Barcode's eyes, he looked down and tears started dropping on the floor. P'Mile freaked out, he did not think that Barcode would cry like this.

-No Barcode, you are not to blame, you and Jeff meeting each other is fate, it was god's plan. It was those insane people out there who killed her. Barcode, please don't...

-So you mean P'Jeff hating me and not wanting to see me is also fate, right?

Barcode interrupted Mile, he ended with a smile, a bittersweet smile. It turned out that god never wanted him and Jeff to be together.

After a long and awkward moment of silence, Mile asked:

-Why do you think Jeff hates you? Barcode, answer me, what has he done?