Convicts❤️me

I luv subway surfers🥰

I didn't expect much useful stuff and I knew that this was a risk seeing as anything could trigger me from what I read aloud, to my handwriting alone. "I WANT TO TALK TO MY MOTHER."
Writing in all capitals for some reason eased me so most, if not all would be written in capital letters. I continued to read, "I CAN NOT STAND TO LOOK AT MY PHONE."
I truly do use my phone a lot so this experience of not being able to look at it truly was new to me.
"THERE IS A MURDERER IN MY HOUSE." "THE MURDERER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I KNOW IT." "I KNOW I COULD HAVE AVOIDED 85% OF THIS SITUATION AND MY SELFISHNESS IS THE ONLY THING STOPPING IT." "DAMN, THAT GIRL IS HOT."
Well fuck, I knew she was attractive but I didn't know my subconscious was aware of that too.
I knew this wasn't all that was bothering me at the moment but I wasn't feeling anxious anymore and I had successfully avoided a couple of panic attacks and didn't want to risk initiating one. Also, on the off chance that I did have another panic attack, my arm wouldn't contribute to helping me feel better.
I look over at the clock and decide to go see if the convict was awake. I almost cried on my way to the guest room because I couldn't explain to myself why I wouldn't call the police on her.
I guess I forgot that I was naked because when I saw her rubbing her eyes, she smirked. I felt my blood turn cold and flicked her off.
"Hey, I didn't ask to be flashed. '' She said it in a fake sad voice so I had to resist the urge to retaliate or cry. Why the fuck won't I call the police on her I kept crying to myself, WHY? Honestly this is really strange, if I had no interest in seeing her on top of me I saw no reason to keep her around. Maybe my subconcious wanted her on top of me and I wasn't quite aware of it yet. It's Saturday, I am taking a trip to the altar tomorrow morning, I can't promise though.
"Thanks for changing my clothes for me and cleaning up, it really gave me a freak,'' she laughed.
"Also, your mother hasn't come home, I don't even know what she looks like. I know I have a lot of explaining to do so please put some clothes on, or don't... and please let me explain, I promise to be truthful and I'll be gone not too long after." Her voice had gone through many different stages throughout her little rant and I could tell she was a bit of a perv, a cruel and annoying perv.
"Fine, okay, whatever, I'll let you explain." I shocked myself with my own mouth and I could hear a slight gasp in the other room.
I delayed for a bit trying to compose myself, I almost barfed while doing so but I grabbed my phone off the charger without even looking at it.
I took some bandage and gauze replacing the one on my arm and though I know better I made it a bit tight so I wouldn't feel frequent bursts of pain.
I met her downstairs and looked around, making a mental note to clean up all the blood from my arm in the house and then to call the police about the dead body as well.
I looked her dead in the eyes and could feel my face heating up, but it wasn't just anger. Maybe I was prepared to curse her out for what she did. 
Being black was a blessing and I could only hope she didn't see the effect her existence had on me, besides the clear bandaged wound she left me with. I sighed, and bit my tongue.
Though she made me flustered I was still terrified of her and felt around for the knife hidden somewhere in between the couch folds trying my very best to be subtle, the limp arm dragging along everywhere wasn't much help to my persona.
I thought she couldn't tell what I was doing, I did consider the fact that I might be giving off a clear hint of what I was doing, holding on to the fact that she didn't know there were knives there.
Before I found the knife she spoke up.
"Your knife is in the kitchen" I gasped "all of them. But don't worry, I have no intentions on hurting you, and if you want you can go and retrieve all your knives if you please" I felt my eyes water, oh how badly I wanted to cry and barf. As if she wasn't a bit late on the part where she wouldn't hurt me.
I was surprised that I wanted to throw up so much seeing as I hadn't eaten since about 12 hours ago. On a happy note, I didn't feel as much pain in my arm anymore, it was just proving to be occasionally useless!!!
"No, no, I guess it's okay," but I still did get up and retrieve two knives from their posts in the kitchen. Maybe I'd be willing to take karma, out of self respect y'know?
"Yeah that's fine, I don't mind, even if you do kill me" she chuckled, yup someone has gotta remind me to go to church tomorrow, to pray for better days, and maybe a mental cleanse.
"I hope I don't have to," I said once, genuinely smiling since 48 hours ago.
Yeah, within 48 hours I've been feeling very homicidal lately so I'm glad her attractiveness was taking over the built up hatred in my heart.
I heard her breath hitch before she rubbed her hands on her face and smiled a warm smile at me. I exhaled strongly making sure she knew this wasn't a flirting session.
"Yeah it really is a lot, but from what I know about you, surprisingly a lot too, you're going to want to hear every second of it." I nodded my head calmly, still looking her in the eyes.
"You're right, go on." business time now.
(1041 words) I warned you that it'd be shit🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️