Lola Wade

Chapter 1

The seats were hard, hard and cold. They smelt of cleaning products but were grimy and overused. On the wall in front of me was a badly painted seascape. It was made of tissue paper and cellophane and was covered in splats of misplaced glue. The background was home to around twenty fish, all the same shape and size but all coloured with different scribbles and patchiness of shading. They were stapled onto the wall but some had been ripped so were falling of. It looked scrappy and untidy which was a complete contrast to where I was. Further down the corridor was another wall display. This one was not quite so poorly made though, I think it was done by a professional. This time it was a jungle scene with a multitude of animals. Even though the lines were carefully crafted and the image was smooth to look at, the concept was still juvenile. The animals were to cartoony and all stared out at me in the same gormless fashion. Nothing like they would in real life.

My attention was drawn to an unpleasant screeching noise coming from not far off. I heard doors banging against each other as two uniformed women rushed a trolley through. The wheels needed oiling as I winced as the sound came closer. The two women momentarily stopped as they came passed me and asked if I was alright. I told them to shove off. At first they looked slightly taken aback but quickly composed themselves and continued on their way. From the back I could see that their uniform was badly fitted, their skirts were twisted and too long and their aprons knotted at the backs of their necks.

As they disappeared through more doors the corridor returned to its’ awkward silence. I looked back at the fish display. Above it read “With Best Wishes From Oakland Primary School”. This annoyed me. I’m still not quite sure why. The picture was a waste of space anyway.

I fidgeted on my chair as I had been sat there for around eight hours and I was very uncomfortable. I was still in my uniform, a garish royal blue polo and ugly sweatshirts. Who do they employ to design these clothes? Not bothering to remove my shoes, I flipped my legs over the hard plastic arms of the chair. I rested my head on the wall and tried to get some sleep. No such luck, I was too worried to sleep. My life wasn’t great at the moment but it could potentially get a whole lot worse. I like where I live, I like my friends, my school. I’d hate anywhere else, I know I would.

Without hesitation I got up out of my seat. I stumbled the first few steps partly because I was exhausted but mainly because I had pins and needles all the way up my legs. Regaining my balance, I turned towards the door to the room that she is in. I paused slightly before going in, nervous of what I might have found on the other side of the door. Slowly pushing down on the handle I entered the room. It was empty. My breathing went shallow and my heart raced. Feeling all of a sudden dizzy and faint, I collapsed onto the floor and rocked slowly back and forth, hugging my knees. I tried to calm myself down but it was no use. I was shaking and panting. My lungs felt small, too small, I couldn’t breath properly. My throat was closing in on me and I was in such shock that I didn’t register what was happening.

I passed out.

***

When I woke up I was in a small hospital bed with a badly sprung, uncomfortable mattress and an itchy duvet. I hate hospitals.

I had sat up and was about to get up to go home when I remembered what had happened before I passed out. I climbed back into the bed. What was the use in moving, ever. I wondered if they’d mind, I would have liked my own room of course but they had plenty of those anyway. Who was I kidding, I couldn’t stay there. They were going to ship me off to one of those homes, homes where all of the unwanted kids go. I’d hate that. So many stories got out about how bad those places were, how aggressively the kids behaved and  how drunk the workers were. I couldn’t go and live somewhere like that. I wouldn’t.

The drawn curtains around me wavered, interrupting my thoughts. Before I had time to pretend I was asleep or hide under the bed a chirpy nurse had come in. She beamed at me with a huge toothy grin. It made me uncomfortable. Her hair framed her face in tight ringlets and had been dyed a strawberry blonde. It looked fake. Her roots had probably grown out, but I couldn’t see because she wore a stiff white had on top of her head. There was a red cross on the front of the hat that matched the shade of her lipstick to deliberately. It looked silly. Unlike the other nurses, her uniform fit her well. She had evidently altered it so that her skirt came shorter and her apron short also. It surprised me that she was allowed to work here like that.

I think she had noticed me staring at her as she looked at me quizzically and seemed slightly uncomfortable. I sat upright again and looked her in the eyes. “What d’you want” I asked accusingly.

“Well I came to see if you were alright and to find out what your

“Why’s that any of your business, stay away from me” I cut her off. She irritated me and I didn’t want to speak to her, to anyone in fact.

“excuse me, but I’m only trying to help

“Well I don’t want your help, I’m fine on my own. I don’t need some slutty good for nothing nurse telling me what to do when my grandmothers dead and I’m gonna’ end up in some grotty dump of a home with a bunch of stupid people that I don’t even like”

I sat back against the head board of my bed and took a deep breath. I had been clenching my fists so hard that I had left crescent shaped indents in the palms of my hand. They hurt, but I wasn’t going to admit it. The nurse was just stood their staring at me. I wished she would just go away, so I told her to and she did.

I slid down under the duvet of my bed and buried my head in the badly stuffed pillow case. I didn’t cry though, I never cry.

Despite the uncomfortable hospital bed, I drifted of to sleep. It was surprisingly peaceful, uninterrupted, but most importantly well needed.