Flower of Oarai

6 A Bit of Fluff

    Akiyama Yukari didn't like to say she had led an unhappy life. After all, she had two wonderful parents who loved her dearly, a happy home and she had never endured any traumas. That part of her life was certainly not unhappy. But she had grown up aware that she didn't fit in. Her interests were simply different from the other girls and she hadn't ever had anything to talk about. She had tried to take an interest in their interests... But it simply hadn't worked out. She hadn't had anyone to talk to. No friends. Most people ignored her. A few called her a freak. It wasn't the names that bothered her though. It was the loneliness. She had no one to talk to about what she loved most. The Internet might have been an option, if Internet discussions didn't almost always devolve into name calling and petty sniping. There was no fun.

When Sensha-do had been brought back to Oarai, when she had sat through the Student Council's presentation, for a brief moment she had thought she would actually burst with joy. It was all too much.

There were people in her life now and while none of them shared her level of passion for tanks, they understood her interest. They respected her. No one more than Commander Itsumi. True, during their first conversation she had feared her arm was going to be broken, but she had still said she was open to having a conversation about tanks. Before the president had dropped her bombshell. She didn't forget that Erika had thrown her a line though or that she had introduced her to Captain Nishizumi and the others. That she had invited her to hang out with them at Miho's place. Sensha-do returning to Oarai and winning their first practice match with Erika were great memories but an evening spent in the company of friends; that was her best memory. And she had accumulated many more like it since.

It had hurt when Commander Itsumi had snapped at her. A lot. In the tank Yukari had quickly learnt that she had no indoor voice; the only way she knew how to give commands was in a harsh tone. This was how she expressed herself, along with dry sarcasm and a general frustration at the cheeriness of the rest of the club. Yukari had learnt the difference between Erika amusing herself with her barbed words or a shouted threat and an expression of genuine anger. At first, she had thought the 'fluffy' moniker was mockery and perhaps it had been at first but it had become clearly affectionate. The use of her actual name had been frightening and a reminder that Erika and Miho came from a different world. They may have been trying to adjust to things at Oarai but all it took was a brief reminder to take them back.

And she knew enough about the Nishizumi family to understand. They were intense people, even without Kuromorimine's traditions. Although the two were inextricable now. But she hadn't known the truth about the finals; the grim hard details that were the real reason the two had left Kuromorimine. She hadn't known that Miho had felt she had let her family down or that Maho had been just as broken up by the events. It seemed that no one had known the full picture except for Erika and she hadn't been in any position to let anyone in on it.

Yukari understood. But that didn't make it any less painful to have had her first friend yell at her. She was ashamed that it hurt her, like she was a small child who had been told off but no one had ever snapped at her like that. She hadn't expected to hear it from Erika. She was afraid of hearing it again and it seemed likely considering how things were for Itsumi and Nishizumi. She knew she wasn't as mature as either of them although in some regards they were equally lacking. Erika hadn't known to apologise, not until Nakajima had told her. And kissing her... She was still thinking about that. Nakajima had meant it in jest but Erika had done it anyway and Yukari kept thinking it was because she had really wanted her apology to be sincere and she wasn't good with the words. She knew her habit of hugging the commander was inappropriate and Erika kissing her cheek was even more inappropriate and as they both knew this, it seemed the commander was trying to prove she meant what she said.