INSTAGRAM | k.jn x fem reader

36

Y/n's p.o.v

I was just writing a song, sitting on the table in my room with the light off, only the table light helping me see the words I was writing down.

You wanna know about the past month? It was unbearable. A whole chaos was going on in my mind and heart, I couldn't feel anything. I barely felt like eating or sleeping, I lost so much weight, I did not cried even once, and that was making everything worse cause I was not able to let out even a little piece of pain, I haven't left my house even once, I barely spoke to anyone who came, Jisoo unnie, Bright, Lisa and Chaeyoung, Mina, Nayeon, they all came everyday to check up on me, but left without seeing me getting any better

The only reason I'm writing a song right now, is that my mind feels so heavy from all the things going on inside, that it was necessary for me to put out some of em on this little piece of paper, or else I thought I was gonna die

Not to mention, I even tried self harm.. I cut my wrist for I don't know how many times, and everytime I did, I would get scolded from Jisoo unnie, till yesterday, it was the first time I've seen her cry in a very long time, and it really hit me, so I stopped

While I was writing, I heard the doorbell ring, probably someone from the names I told you all. I put down my pencil, and got up, letting my feet drag my lifeless body to the door.

I opened the door, expecting to see a face I see everyday, but no.. I was instead met with the pair of eyes I did not wanna see till my next life

Even though the pair of eyes showed the broken soul of the person standing right in front of me, it still bought back every inch of memory I was trying to burn to ashes in my mind

A whole universe was crashing inside my little body, but that didn't showed on my face even a bit, my hand let go of the doorknob and my feet dragged me to the couch, while I felt the girl follow me inside

"Y/n.." I felt an enormous bullet go through my heart as my name was called out by her, I tilted my head as my feet stopped on its way, and my body turned to face the girl behind

"Y/n say something please..." she said again, with every bit of her voice cracking, her eyes starting to drop the tears they've been holding since the time they met mine

I stared at her with my head a bit tilted, with nothing on my face, almost like a body who's soul has left it "you're scaring me... please y/n" she took a step forward, as her little hands found my collar

"Yah... Kim Y/n...please don't do this.." she shook me as she was breaking down, leaning her head on my chest, she hugged me tightly, tighter than the first time she said she loved me

A slight scoff came from me, which made her look at me "1 month? That long?" She held onto my hands tightly "I know.. Jisoo unnie didn't want me to see you.. I had to listed to her.. im so sorry Y/n I shouldn't have done that to you, please trust me.. I broke up with him before we left for London.. I meant every word I said to you... everything there was real... it was coming from my heart.. please I'm so sorry.." she said while panting as tears were rushing down her eyes like a waterfall

I scoffed again as my feet stepped back, starting to walk to my bedroom "Y/n please I love you!" I stopped. I felt like my soul suddenly entered my body once again, but the universe falling apart inside couldn't keep it in my body anymore, so it started coming out from my eyes

I walked back to her, giving her a very slight push on the shoulder "no..." she looked at me confused with her bloodshot eyes, I pushed her again with the same little force "love is what I gave you..." I grabbed her collar, harshly pulling her to me "you don't love me.."

My feet got very weak, as they couldn't hold the weight of my body anymore, I fell down to my knees as a river started flowing down my eyes. I cried, I cried every little piece of pain out. I was screaming, sobbing, panting, and it broke Jennie. She got down to her knees as pull me in her arms, holding me even tighter as my weak fists started to hit her shoulder "YOU DONT LOVE ME!" I yelled out with my voice completely different, way more deep and totally broken.

"I do, I'm sorry for breaking you..." she mumbled in my ears as she rested my head on her chest while I continued letting everything out, that I was holding inside of me for this whole month