When your young, you can be rather oblivious. Oblivious to the world, to your family problems, to bullying. Anything. Depending on how your taught...problems can be fixed, solved. On the other hand...being oblivious can cause you stress, sadness. Welcome to my...life...
As far as introductions go, you know my name, my age, my birthday, my pronouns. Anything you really need to know. However if you missed that, my name is Jayden (or Ender) I am fifteen, my infamous birth date was February 12th, 2007, and my pronouns are they/he/she (they/them preferred). Now that we are done with introduction we shall continue.
Part l: My Upcoming
Ever since I was little I have always been so anxious, but so curious of the world. However, I was really oblivious. The reason I had so much anxiety and so much lack of self worth was because of my parents. Now, don't get me wrong I love my parents. They also love me. However, when they raised me they sheltered me from the world, the cruel world. I mean, it did make me happier not knowing the truth about much, but what mattered was my future. Instead of my parents teaching me, it was life, it was how mean life was that taught me stuff. There are many rules to live in a world like this:
Be pretty, be skinny, don't be too loud, but don't be too quiet, don't each much, but don't eat too little, wear certain clothes, and most importantly try and fit in. These...these rules caused problems amongst this generation and this youth! Social media also caused problems. So much caused problems. This is why we are a depressed generation. I was raised that all of this was in my head, but when you think about it, it's just the society I live in. The society can shape you. I was once a very sweet girl, turned rather bitter---I am still nice, but not to everyone.
Part ll: Social Media
I got a tablet when I was like seven. How lovely, some can't afford that so I was lucky! However this luck turned sour quick...I had a window to Social media now. YouTube. Rather innocent looking. Yes, it isn't suppose to be bad, but it is Social media, and social media has no filter---unless you count those models. What I mean is...you can see anything...good! Or...bad...I was exposed to both sides. Minecraft YouTube!! Which was---still is---great! However, for me it was better in the day. I remember first getting Minecraft in 2015. It was Christmas and my dad bought it for me---thanks, dad. However, I was also exposed to other content. Horror. Now, I wasn't usually scared of this content. Actually, I got FNaF 1 April 2nd of 2015---thanks, dad again. Though other horror came up and I never got scared or ever had nightmares---well, I say never, but there was this one time...
I was about eight I'd say. It was two years after I found out about FNaF and one year since I got the game. I was enjoying everything. Though I was---like most children---scared of the dark. I usually hid in my parents room and sleep with them. Well, one night I had a nightmare and it had something to do with FNaF. When I would run to their room I would go to the door. Peer out it and into the hallway specifically looking to me right towards the stairs. I don't know what it was, but they always scared me. I would then quickly run across the hall and enter my parents room before any "monster" could get me. I decided to get in bed and the moment I did I saw hallucinations of the characters. I hid under the blanket for what felt like eternity. It had to only be five to ten minutes. After I mustered up the courage because I was like suffocating from lack of air. I pulled the blanket of my head. Nothing. Everything was fine. I then slept. Feeling safe.
Basically, if I never knew FNaF I wouldn't of had that nightmare or hallucinations. I still remember that night vividly. I remember the hallucination of Freddy and the horror I felt. I still barely get scared, but I definitely won't ever forget that night. I saw alot of other stuff further down the line or even closer to this time period.
Part lll: Arguments
Arguments. Something everyone has probably had. Rather it was because you disagreed with something or someone said something. You have probably been in an argument. Although I haven't necessarily been in a lot of arguments, I have witnessed them. My parents would argue a lot. Most arguments ended with my mother threatening to leave. To be honest I think she would've been more happy now, but I don't know. You've probably also witnessed your parents fighting. Everyone has. It is common. Whether they do it behind closed doors or infront of you they have argued. Disagreements come with a relationship. However, sometimes the argument isn't resolved and they just never agree. Sometimes they understand eachother and it ends. My parents don't understand eachother...Never have.
