Bounty hunting is a complicated profession

Sacrifice

As soon as you got on the boat you started to feel the heat from the lava underneath you. It was suffocating, and the air was so hot it felt like your already damaged throat was on fire every time you breathed in. Not to forget about the sulphur that just made the whole situation worse by tenfold.

Although no troopers seemed to have followed you, everyone was still very fidgety, standing nervously and continuously looking back. Since the way out seemed to be quite far down the river, you sat down, deciding that now wasn't the moment to worry — you'll have plenty of time for that when trying to get back to the ship.

Slowly, you started to take off the splint Mando had put on your hand. You had to talk to him and you could barely move like that. Plus, it was all dirty and covered in blood, his blood — you thought, trying to swallow the lump forming in your throat. You tried to distract yourself from that idea thinking that maybe you weren't that bad of a shooter after all, mostly if you took into account that you had been shooting with your non-dominant hand this whole time.

"What are you doing?" Mando asked you suddenly. You were so deep in thought, his voice made you flinch in surprise. He knelt beside you trying to put the splint back on but you didn't let him. You even had to slap his hand when he tried to hold you to put it back because you had just almost finished taking it off.

"You don't have to stay with me." You signed as soon as your hand was free. It was sore and still hurt a bit but not as much as to render you unable to sign. He looked at you utterly confused.

"Where is this coming from?"

"I don't care what the lady said, you are not in debt with me, I can go alone and find those Jedi." You had to spell that last word but you didn't really know how, so you kind of made it up. 

He took a long slow breath and then looked at you, tilting his head. His stance got tense and his shoulders raised, he was clearly annoyed.

"We're not parting ways." He signed too and you realised he didn't want the others to know what you were saying, which terrified the hell out of you. What was he going to say to you that the others couldn't hear? "You're my responsibility."

Ugh. Being called 'responsibility' hurt more than you could have imagined, moreover after the friendship you had established and how much he meant to you. Yet, you couldn't exactly blame him for seeing you like that. At least not now that you knew you were the cause of all that death and of how much he was suffering.

"But you don't want to. I can manage, I'm strong. It's ok." You huffed, instantly regretting it as the hot air scorched your throat.

"No, it's not." he said, letting go a small sigh of frustration for having already talked out loud. He went on signing. "Why do you say I don't want to?"

"Because you hate me!" You signed, unable to repress the pain showing in your face at the notion. "You won't even look at me because all of that, the helmets, the deaths… that's my fault!"

"No." He said but before he could say anything else, you went on. 

"If you hadn't saved me, if you hadn't…" you faltered, your hands were shaking as you struggled again with the urge to cry, "cared about me... they'd be alive. There were children there! I—"

You groaned as you covered your face. You couldn't go on. Shame and guilt had started swelling in your chest only to be increased by the thought of Kuiil's death and how that was your fault too. In fact, you hadn't even made it out of there alive yet. Who knew how many more deaths would fall on your shoulders by the end of the day.

You couldn't look at him after becoming aware of how much harm saving you had cost others. You weren't worth all that, it wasn't fair.

Gently, his hands pulled yours away from your face.