DREAM: It was valentines day a Saturday too.I had awaited for it to spend time with someone who i didn't really know anymore,my mother.Yea we lived in the same home but we just started to grow apart but valentines day was a day of love so i knew we would connect.I awoke real early in the morning about 6:33 and a saw no one else was up so a went back to sleep.When i re awoke it was around 10:00 a got up and my mother was sitting in her room and ask me to warm some of her take out up so i did.Took it to her and she said get ready because we got to go do somethings.My brother was already ready so i went and sat down.When she says get ready that means she not getting ready until she feels like it.I sat for about an hour or two then started to get ready.While waiting for my bath i went and grabbed a cough-drop out her room and she was sleep.So i picked up the bag to get a cough drop and it mad heck of a lot of noise and she turned over and looked at me like i was a problem so i continued.got dressed and everything and then we left.We went to go see about some phones and then brought some food for the month and did it in under 30 minutes. That's the end.Drop me and my brother off at home and left to go shopping and treat herself because she had a date with a man I didn't really favor.Last words were "Make sure you clean up".
I sat down for a while watch television and played on my electronic.Then i started to clean my room.Finished that and started on the freezer,not the kitchen.Freezer took an hour and then i called her.
I asked her "Are you finish?" and her response was "No.Bye!"
So i sat down again.She took around 4 hours and 30 minutes to come back.Gave me and my brother some little gift bags for Vday then called and talked to her friend.Still i ask myself why aren't you spending time with me or us.Brought shoes and a dress to match the purse i brought for her and waited for Mr.Mans call(not his name).No call one hour two hours still not call.She waited and quite frankly i was glad.I had to suffer when i could have had fun so you should too. Don't get me mixed up i love her but she focused so much energy on Mr.Man that i felt left out as usual, i always felt like the last straw.They say a man who cries is a man who loves but that's not true.I Cried then stopped and cried again.So much pain stories and scares,memories and clothes all filled with pain.Some days blood seemed to be all around me it was just so much pain.She doesn't even know that i was killing myself from storing all this pain and nothing saying anything.In the real world I'm a smile and a warm presence but in my world I'm dark,dreading and deadly filled to the top with pain.So you can see why i was hopping on this day and then hoping on the Mr.Man not to show up.
"What about food" I ask
"Go cook something im not buying anymore out food."She said angrily and snappy. probeley would have if she wasn't waiting for Mr.Man
I cooked for my self since she warmed him up some pizza.I told my self that i wasn't going to search anymore that night for her love for her time FOR HER ATTENTION THAT A MOTHER SHOULD GIVE TO A CHILD.I was gonig to let her come to me.
A few minutes later she got a call from no other than Mr.Man,Yep you guessed it.
"I been waiting for you to call me"
"On the other line i think he may have said something like,"Oh yea sorry what you doing"
"I was about to go to bed"So sadly she sounded,but so happy i felt inside.
Did the night turn out good for me? Well yes, i cooked myself a nice dinner and watch tv and relax.Did it turn out goo for her?No it didn't Mr.Man let her down as he has before and she went to bed empty and lonely on Valentines Day.
˜"Thoughs who seek love are thoughs we die alone.For love is something that had to be free fall to a person and the love that you receive from the little pain ones you born that you ignore is the love that you wont receive. For magic mystic and wondering dread makes a spirit whole but love keeps it full.."˜
By: Bloodflower
I did however learn the lesson from the experience that would help this. Don't search for the lost,let the lost search for you for they know were to find you.
