What I Wouldn't Do (A James Potter FF)

Prologue: Halloween

Ava Potter was going to die. She knew that in the way that she knew her son's favorite song was "Pop Goes the Hypogriff" and that her husband slept with only his left sock on. She was going to die, but that would be all. She wasn't going to allow this betrayal to play out the way it had for the little boy in her dreams. Her boy, her Harry, would be different.

That's why, as she kissed her husband for the last time, a kiss of betrayal in a way, she felt no guilt in her heart, only grief. For she already missed James Potter more than life.

"I love you, James," she murmured against his lips and his eyes widened in alarm. "Please, forgive me for this and take care of our son."

"Ava-" he began, startled, but she'd already grabbed his wand from his pocket, and her wand was to his head before he'd finished what he could say.

"Somnum," she put him into an enchanted sleep and then, picking up his wand in her left hand and a one-year-old Harry Potter in her right, she levitated him up to their bedroom closet.

"Dada! Dada!" Harry giggled, watching James float ahead of them. "Dada sleep?"

"Yes Harry," she matched his smile, and the innocent child didn't notice that the expression didn't meet her eyes. "Dada sleep. Just like Harry will be asleep soon."

She wished she'd practiced the levitation spell a bit more because on the way up the stairs he knocked into the wall a few times. She nearly smiled, imagining him complaining about the headache. James Potter could out grumble anyone. She'd miss that.

Ava was thankful when they made it up to the closet. Using her wand, she lowered James's unconscious form down as gently as she could, angling it so he wouldn't be sleeping on the side that hurt his neck. Then, she placed Harry carefully on the floor, who thought it was a fun game to levitate daddy when he was sleeping.

Without allowing herself to think too much about it, she went to the end of their bed to the bottom of her trunk where she'd hid James's Invisibility cloak. She'd gotten it back from Dumbledore last week without telling her husband. She'd not told James a lot these last few weeks. Huge omissions from her activities which made her feel bad, but she knew were necessary.

"I'm so sorry James. I'm so sorry," she murmured, and she covered him with the cloak, making him invisible from sight and magic. "Only love...only love can hurt like this, but I'm so glad you made me fall in love with you James Potter. I wouldn't have it any other way. You made me happier than I ever imagined that I could be. I thought...I thought I'd die young and alone, but my life has been so full. Take care of our family. Take care of Harry."

She took out her wand and, grimacing, she cut her palm and James's, pressing them together while she chanted the spell from the book. She had no blood relatives that she'd trust Harry to, but her wizarding marriage to James and this sacrifice of blood would tie them as much as any people could be tied. Harry would be safe this way. He would be loved this way.

She quickly scooped up her baby, who was slowly beginning to nod off, and made her way to James's side of the room. She set his wand on his wand stand, right where he'd find it, and she stole one final glance back towards where she knew he was laying under the cloak. Then, with a flick of her wand, she magically locked the door and cast a quick "mufflato". There was no guarantee that James would not wake up and she couldn't risk him doing so and making himself a target. Or else, all was lost. Harry would be lost. Besides, he wouldn't be there forever. The magic would be gone when she was.

Then, once it was done, and with tears in her eyes, she turned to her son with a forced smile. The beautiful boy looked up at her with obvious adoration, his mum his favorite person, despite all the times James and Sirius tried to assert otherwise. He was a carbon copy of his father, right down to the crooked smile and dimples, but Harry had her eyes. The little boy immediately reached up his arms to her and Ava obliged, pulling him closer so that his face nuzzled into her neck, and she could feel the comforting feeling of little breathes going in and out.