Copper Ridge [h.s]

to one in paradise

And all my days are trances,

And all my nightly dreams

Are where thy grey eye glances,

And where thy footstep gleams-

In what ethereal dances,

By what eternal streams.

To one in paradise - Edgar Allan Poe

***

Day 3

Waking up I felt cold. The warmth I had woken up to the last couple of days was not to be found. Adam was not next to me. I did not mean to fall asleep yesterday, I must have fallen asleep before he came back. I waited for Adam to come back after cooling down so that we could have a conversation about it. Immediately my irritation grew. He did not even have the decency to face me this morning. Knowing him, this day will consist of him giving me the silent treatment. He has no right to be upset with me though, there is only one of us in the wrong here and it is not me.

I have no idea what we should do now. I meant it when I said I was done with him. The line that he crossed is not one I feel comfortable letting him come back from. For some reason, it almost felt like I subconsciously knew it would be coming. I did not expect him to cheat on me, but I knew our days together were counted, I just did not want to acknowledge it.

I think the best for us to do right now is to go home and go our separate ways. All I can feel now is anger. I know the hurt will hit me at some point, but it is for the better. It does not matter if he apologizes to me, I deserve someone that is better than that.

I might have thought about it differently if it was a one – night thing. Maybe I would have been able to see it as a mistake, and we could have worked through it. However, this has gone on for months, that is not a mistake. Adam was fully aware of what he was doing. It makes me question if all those late nights he spent at "work" really were what he said they were or if he was spending them with his new lover.

I wish he would just tell me the truth, the entire truth. That way I would not have to come to conclusions myself and question how we became like this. Considering his behavior yesterday and the fact that I know Adam rather runs away, I know I will not get any answers from him.

Deciding that it is time for me to leave the tent and stop thinking about this I got out of my sleeping bag and put on some warmer clothes. All Adam's things have been left untouched, meaning that he never came back to the tent at all, not even to get something warmer to sleep in.

"Good morning. Have you seen Adam since yesterday?" I asked Harry. He was sitting outside on the ground, fidgeting with a rock in on hand and a cup of, what seemed to be coffee, in the other.

"No, not since we said goodnight yesterday. Why? Trouble in paradise?" Hearing Harry say that he has not seen Adam made a pit form in my stomach. I am angry at him of course, but that does not mean I want any harm done to him. He did not have much clothing on, and it gets pretty cold at night. He did not have any type of light with him either, what if he fell and hurt himself or if he got lost?

"You could say that. We had a fight yesterday and he just left and hasn't come back since."

"We better find him then. We need to get going soon if we want to make it to the lakes today."

"Would you help me look?"

"Of course."

We figured he could not have gone that far so we packed up our things but left them at the campsite, only bringing one bag with some food and water, in case it would take longer than we expected. The thought that we might not find him did not even cross my mind. He was probably sitting somewhere, gathering up his courage to face me again.