404 || Dnf

Chapter 9

Dream POV

I got back in the car. Luke was in the passenger seat and I got into the driver's seat. I could see George getting into Karl's car.

I smiled to myself before turning on the car and driving off.

Luke lived in an apartment not far from here.

Luke knew about everything. He's the only one actually.

He knows how I lie to people about where I live, he knows what happened to me in the past, what I'm going through, everything..

He insisted on me moving in with him but I refused because it wouldn't be fair after everything he's done for me.

I had a not so stable job as a waiter at a restaurant.

That was my only income at that time, but I managed..

I worked for my ex girlfriend's dad. But since I broke up with her I was fired and had to find another job.

My mental health had not been good in a long time, and that day was the first day in around half a year that I was actually happy.

My mom passed away when I was 6 and my dad became an alcoholic who abused me for years.

I had to always put up with him since I was a kid.

I had a lot of trauma from when I was a kid, and I didn't think it'll ever go away.

When I was 18 I moved out. Everything was finally good and I started to get my life back together.

I even got a girlfriend.

We were together for 2 years until I found out she cheated on me with another guy.

And since her dad was my boss I got fired.

I couldn't get back on my feet after that, that's when I started hurting myself because I thought I deserved it.

I still did, that's why I always wore hoodies and long pants.

I didn't drink alcohol because I didn't want to be anything like my father.

Since I lost stability in my life again, I couldn't do anything.

For months I lived off of the money I had saved up but it wasn't enough to keep me going so I rented a smaller apartment and left the one I previously lived in.

I had to get a job after that but since I had no collage degree because I was never good in school, I got a job as a waiter.

My life had been like that for a while, and Luke had been there since the start.

I met him in highschool and we stayed friends after that.

He's like my ride or die. He really is the one I trust most.

I drove to his apartment and got out of the car. Luke got out of the car asking me random questions because of how drunk he was.

I took him to the apartment and he instantly went to his room and went to bed.

I said goodbye and left the apartment.

My small apartment wasn't far from here so I just walked like usual.

After about 15 minutes I got home.

It was different though. Instead of going to the kitchen or bathroom to get something sharp or break down at the doorway, I went to my bed.

I had tried to quit, multiple times, but it never worked. Feeling like I deserved it always came back every night.

I wished I could stop, but I can't.

I wished my life wasn't so fucked up and I didn't have to lie about it.

I went in my room and changed into some comfortable sweats before I got into bed.

404..

The number came back to my head.

George..

He came back to my head.

He was the reason I didn't hurt myself today.. He's the one that made me happy..

George..

It was him that helped me..

What did he do..?

"George.." I mumbled.

What did I feel towards him..

How did he help me?

Why did he help me?

Nobody has ever been able to make me actually happy and yet he didn't even try but succeeded.

What did he do to me..?

I kissed him, I literally kissed him..

Did I like him?

I had a million questions.. And no answers..

I couldn't sleep. I had too much on my mind.

I looked at the ceiling.

George..

George..

I took a deep breath.

A picture of him smiling appeared in my mind.

He looked beautiful.

I smiled.

What was this feeling..?

I got out of bed and went to the kitchen. I got a glass of water and drank it.

I put the empty cup on the counter and went to the bathroom.

I turned on the light and looked in the mirror. I saw myself.

George..

George..

I looked at my reflection.

I stared at myself for a few moments.

I could see a scar just below my neck.

I took a deep breath before leaving the bathroom and turning off the light.

I went back to the bedroom and laid on my bed.

I closed my eyes trying to forget him, trying to fall asleep.

I couldn't.

I got out of bed again and started pacing around my apartment while biting my nails.

I took a deep breath..

Did I like him?

Did I miss him?

Did I... Love him?

No, there was no way.

But then why did he make me happy?

Was it his presence? His touch? His voice?

I didn't know..

I went back to bed and took 3 deep breaths.

I calmed myself down and closed my eyes.

And just like that after a few moments I was asleep.

It was 4.04 am..

-

Hellu

Remember to eat and drink water, my friends!