First I would like to tell what Hard of hearing is?
Am I deaf? No
Am I hearing person like you? - um not exactly.
Without the hearing aids you cannot hear most stuffs and if there were fireworks happening within few feet of me, only then I can hear faintly. Of course this experience of mine differs from other Hard of hearing.
With hearing aids I hear a whole new world but sometimes that can be exhausting.
Advantages - Can hear voices, sounds, differentiate the sounds to some extent. can take off or mute my hearing aids if I find bursting of fireworks annoying when I work/study. If I find loud voices in my family I tend to switch my hearing aids off and then focus on my work. I learnt only one language since I got this issue of hearing since I was a baby.
How did I get it?
Acquired after birth. Meaning I was very much hearing like you all. But lost it due to my fever ( they gave me a new medicine as a baby. and it gave better effects to control the fever but gave some side effects that is either kidney failure or loss of hearing and well... mine is loss of hearing. My kidney is fine :D
Do I have disadvantages as a hard of hearing? YES god YES
Many people think I am lucky being hard of hearing, but that's not the case. That's is because they do not know what problems I face.
I find it hard to differentiate the minor sounds that others can. Others can hear far off distances like few blocks away while I sat there trying to hear it but fail to capture it unless it is loud enough to be heard within the block or not loud enough to be heard at the doorstep. My mom is scary good at listening to stuffs and it makes me feel insecure af.
Yes most people don't know I am insecure.
I have to take off my hearing when I go for bath, head bath and before going to sleep. I cannot focus on sounds which are not in my visual range. meaning you have to be in my line of view to get my attention or else YELL AT ME TO LET ME IDENTIFY YOU IN THE CROWD :D
And language is the huge issue as a hard of hearing in India... At least to me. Cause. most people speak different languages while as a hard of hearing we train in listening and identifying sounds first, the voices of different people AND THEN FINALLY the language. IT IS TEDIOUS AS A HARD OF HEARING!
Because imagine you take an old phoen and listen to everything through that. sounds, people talking , to hearing your family's voice over the phone. now take a new phone or different model or brand listen to the same sounds and voices. EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT RIGHT? now tell me will you be able to pick up a new language through phone conversations?? no right? its hard right? EXACTLY WITH US
Even if the hearing aids are advanced our body still has to adjust to teh changes and sounds it receives.
Also because of the language barrier, I couldn't retain friends and hence during lunch time in schools and colleges I used to sit alone and eat alone. Recently few years back one friend asked me and it hurt me the realization of this hard found reality of my situation. She said "why are you sitting alone? you looks so sad? Come with us! we will eat together! you could have called us na?" Y'all this broke me hard because my school and college was exactly opposite to what she said. No one wanted to sit with me, nor called me to have food. I was a quiet kid and shy one but being excluded hurts me deeply. And all I said was "I am used to it" my minds said "Am I really used to it? it still hurts to be left out"
Its a traumatic event that made me realized taht people have now changed and this isn't school or college it was work! I still have fear of working in a group now. Although I am the Sera here very outgoing, initiates talks, is cheery, happy and all. but deep inside this open wound lies. It fucking hurts. I don't know what to do except ignore taht pain. I don't want sympathy. Just include me it's more than enough. I don't need anything else honestly. I had to put it out here. To let yall know.
It's best to ask what the hard of hearing wants and please include any persons with disabilities. I do wish to know and help you all. It doesn't matter if you are with disabilities or without. I just wish we all include everyone. Who knows you can be the one to have subconsciously healed them?? We may not say anything but sometimes they can be low key grateful.
I am so exhausted after writing down my worries. I need a break a minor one. I get these time to time when I am alone. So yeah I didn't know it would affect me on this level. I got to stay strong no matter what. But yes it can be exhausting too. I try my best but would be better with your support :)
If you have any sort of queries please ping me I would be happy to include in this chapter or maybe the next chapter as Q&A :)
