I always win

Part One

"I've totally had a more interesting life," Dorothy proclaimed, "more interesting than any other storybook character."
Alice replied as politely as possible, "I'd disagree."
Dorothy gave Alice a strange look, almost begging her to continue. Alice sighed, "I've got talking animals."
"Well so do I!" Dorothy nearly yelled, "Is a talking lion not enough for you?"
Alice rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry, you only have one?" Dorothy looked at alice in shock. "Oh yea girly, I've got more than one, hence the animals with an s"
Dorothy rolled her eyes, "Prove it" she said.
"Talking rabbits, talking caterpillars, talking mice, and so on" Alice replied, her face almost ending in a smirk.
"Yea, well i have talking scarecrows" Dorothy shot back.
Alice waved her off, "Sweetheart, I've got talking card soldiers, army's of them"
Dorothy knew she couldn't win, but she continued to pester Alice with her next argument. "Well I've got magic shoes." Alice got annoyed.
"Okay clearly you aren't understanding." Alice shot up from her seat and continued to rant. "I've got potions and pastries that make you change sizes, I've got a mad man who isn't actually mad, I've got a cat who's cheshire smile is genuinely scary, I've got a queen who wants me dead, I've got a rabbit who's always late, a set of twins that are impeccably stupid, and a caterpillar that smokes 24/7, you can't win!"
Alice finished her rant and collapsed onto the hard ground. Dorothy stood up, "I know I can't win, I just wanted to get to know you dear" Dorothy's clothes and hair began to glow. Alice looked up in shock. A man dressed in green, black, and gold stood in her place. "Tis I, The great and powerful Loki," the man said, "and I found everything I needed to know." The man by the name of Loki disappeared in a flash, leaving poor Alice alone in shock.