What you do is a shock I can't describe;
What you are is a smile I can't divine.
I claimed to want you: I described a fall,
But I wanted to want you, and that was all.
Seething with bitterness and aching with loss,
I called your name and dismissed the cost
Yearning for power, I pulled you my way,
But guilt wasn't something my hold could outweigh
Now all your words have become my teardrops,
All your cries tremble on my own tongue.
I mourn for the genius that twisted your thoughts,
And my disavowal of what I had done.
I didn't mean to hurt you, can't we be friends?
I admit I used you for my own ends.
I tried to ignore you, but you're hard to deny;
I can't escape the innocence I stole from your eyes.
What I've done is an act I can't deny.
What I am is a jewel case that loves to lie.
What can't be said haunts the depths of my mind:
What you wanted wasn't there, for it wasn't mine
I can't force my heart, but endeavored to try.
I never wanted it to be a lie.
