Billies pov
We just told my parents I'm pregnant with twins and y/n is nervous. She's worried something will happen and ik she's trying not to but for her it's hard and I find her crying at night but when I say u ok? She stops crying and says yes baby go back to sleep she hates showing her emotions. We have pictures of me and y/n holding our other daughter who passed Riley but we didn't let anyone else hold her we couldn't have any one else deal with that it's been a year since and me and her are still in high school so that's great. One night I wake up and y/ns not in bed and she's in the corner crying and rocking back and forth and I know she was crying about Riley she had her picture in her hands and I get up quietly and pick her up and she gasps a little bit cuz I scared her and she says I'm fine baby..I say bullshit she says I'm ok it's nothing love. I set her on the bed and grab her chin and say don't fucking lie to me y/n and she's struggling to keep her tears in and she finally just breaks down and says m-mommy..? (Y/n does little space sometimes ok) u say yes my love it's ok Mommy's here she clings to me and I feel so bad but idk what to do and I rub her back.
Y/ns pov
I don't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see Riley..and it hurts so much and I cry a lot and I always pretend to be ok for Billie. Until one night I just couldn't anymore and broke down in her arms and I go little and I hate doing that and she says she it's ok love Mommy's here and I cling to her. And we still live with her mom and dad for now and Maggie hears me crying and knocks on the door I hide my face in billies neck and Billie says come in and Maggie says is everything ok Billie? She says yes mama y/n is just having a bad night and Maggie says I have something for u y/n and Billie I got these for u. Riley was about 6 pounds at birth and Maggie says y/n ik you've been struggling and ik Billie has been to and she hands us a box and says here and we have her two stuffed animals that were Riley's and we open them and it's the stuffed animals but they're waited the same as Riley and I start to cry and Billie gets upset idk if she hit a breaking point or if her hormones are out of wack. And she yells at her mom for doing that and I say Maggie we both say thank you and I say Billie eilish sit ur ass down and she looks at me and says u don't tell me what to do. I say oh Billie fucking eilish sit ur ass on the bed now! And she gets scared and sits down and I say Maggie thank you we love u have a good night and lock our door once she leaves. And say baby why'd u get so mad at her? She breaks down to the point she doesn't want me to hold her or be there with her and I leave our room and sit on the couch and fin is there and says everything ok? I say something is up with Billie I think she hit her breaking point.
Maggie's pov
I gave y/n and Billie stuffed animals that are weighted and Billie yells at me and y/n says Billie eilish sit down and she says ur not the boss of me. And y/n says Billie fucking eilish sit ur ass down on the bed now! And she does and y/n says Maggie thank u we love u and she shuts the door and I hear her ask Billie why she yelled and Billie breaks down and a little later it's 6 am and y/n comes out of there room and sits down on the couch with fin while I'm making breakfast. And after a little bit Billie comes out of her room with puffy eyes and tears on her face and y/n runs to her before anyone could get to her and she says may I? And hugs her hard and Billie clings to y/n. And she says baby it's ok everything will be fine and she smiles and picks up Billie and we sit down at the table and y/n holds billies hand as we sit there and her breath is Shakey and she's bouncing her leg and y/n says baby look at me and Billie does and she says it's gonna be ok ur safe there safe and she pulls Billie on her lap and says my love ur safe with me yk that as she rubs her back and Billie starts calming down and soon I notice she's asleep and y/n says I knew she needed that she needed to feel safe first.
Billies pov
For some reason I broke down and yelled at my mom and didn't even want y/n in the room with me anymore and after some time it was 6 am. When I came out of our room and y/n runs to me and picks me up and we sit down but I can't stop bouncing my leg and my breathing is really Shakey and y/n pulls me on her lap and says it's ok baby ur safe and she rubs my back and I soon fall asleep and I needed to feel safe and once I did I was out.
