Isaac Hempstead Wright Book 1

Sexy Pizza Rat

"Isaac!" I heard y/n call from the living room

"Yes my love?" I called back finishing the washing up

"Can I borrow you?"

"Will I be returned?"

"Yes"

"In the same condition I was borrowed in?"

"Yes"

"Are you willing to pay a security deposit?"

"Get your butt in here Isaac before I shove a pencil in your penis"

"Coming my love" I chuckled drying my hand and going into the living room where she sat on her laptop so I sat down beside her giving her a big kiss "what am I required for? You forgot your Amazon password again?"

"No, I wanted your help with something very important"

"Oh?"

"I need to pick a costume for the Halloween party at Lizzie's"

"Ohhhh right so what do you need me for?"

"I can't decide"

"Oh? Well I'm happy to help my cute girl pick her Halloween costume" I smiled giving her a cuddle "give me some options then"

"sexy Police officer?"

"Oooh... I think you'll be a bit cold"

"Sexy Nurse"

"Again. Cold. And... that's a lot of leg for a nurse. Feel like you'd give people heart attacks you walked into a hospital like that"

"Sexy devil"

"I like that, cool cape if your cold you could wrap yourself up in your cape plus you could do like alot of cool make up for that I think"

"Sexy fairy"

"Ohh that is... busy"

"I thought that"

"That's a no from me"

"Okay sexy maid"

"That is a sex outfit. Like they sell that in Anne summers"

"Ohh grow up Isaac, sexy school girl"

"So your a sexy twelve year old"

"Point taken sexy girl scout"

"Sexy seven year old"

"Sexy teacher"

"That's a porn star. One hundred percent I have seen porn where that was the outfit"

"Have you now Isaac"

"Don't judge me you where on holiday"

"Sexy firefighter"

"Ohh god that looks so cold."

"Sexy lumberjack"

"That's just fireman without the hat"

"Sexy corn on the cob"

"That would only work of you wore yellow tights and carried popcorn around to throw at people"

"Sexy dragon"

"This seems offensive. Chinese dragons are beautiful that's just a lady in hot pants again"

"Sexy goldfish"

"That's hilarious but only for the pure obserdity" I laughed "but again pants needed"

"Sexy watermelon"

"That's just a defective watermelon dress that they had cuts in and redid to look like a bite"

"Sexy racoon"

"Why is she wearing thigh highs with fishnets"

"That's your question?"

"I'm not addressing the rest of this"

"Sexy fortune cookie"

"Again that feels offensive"

"Sexy hacker"

"That's just one of those long hoodies"

"Sexy cheerleader"

"Again sexy sixteen year old and.... Does that say daddy as the team name?"

"It does"

"I may throw up"

"Sexy french fries"

"That's funny but the arm bands are weird"

"Sexy carrot"

"The that's so cheap. You could do carrots really well just not with a cheap dress"

"Sexy etcha sketch"

"Does it work?"

"No"

"That's not fun"

"Sexy bubblegum"

"Really?"

"Sexy bear"

"Ohh no I'm getting wicker Man flash backs"

"Sexy cat in the hat"

"Nope"

"Sexy Chinese take out container?"

"Again that feels offensive"

"It's not as bad as some of them"

"Like what?"

"Sexy native American"

"Ohh that's so cheap and offensive"

"Sexy tequila girl"

"Again very offensive"

"Sexy geisha"

"Oh. Oh no. No. They didn't? You just made and tiny kimono. That's so very offensive geishas work so hard they are a beautiful art form."

"Your mad at sexy geisha"

"Very!"

"Sexy pizza rat?"

"Okay that's amazing, it's so dumb I love it. And you have those pizza leggings! If you don't go as pizza rat I will"

"Ooohh sexy voodoo doll"

"Admittedly that's cool"

"I'm going for voodoo doll"

"Fine, then I may steal your leggings and be a pizza rat"