Love Letters (editing)

Chapter 9: Downturns

Alicia's POV

It's been a month since Drew and Millie began to date. But Drew's not very happy through the few dates they've had, yet he doesn't tell me why no matter how much I bug him to tell me.

Alicia: PLEASE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS DURING YOUR DATES

Drew: nope

Alicia: awwww

Drew: n-o spells no, and which part of 'no' do you NOT understand???

Alicia: fine im sawwy

Drew: meh it's alright

Alicia: :)))

I scrolled through the texts, letting out an inaudible sigh. I was worried for him. If he truly loved Millie, did Millie truly love him back? She had James, who'd been with her since childhood, then did she like him instead? Or was she in love with Drew? I pushed the thoughts out of my mind then I grabbed my purse and changed into a floral dress, I decided to go shopping. I definitely needed something new to wear.

"Mom! I'm gonna go shopping, I'll be back in an hour and half, okay?" I asked, my eyebrow raising uneasily.

"Okay, as long as you get to revise and finish your homework ASAP when you come back, it's fine." She replied loudly since she was vacuuming the floor.

I went out the door, breathing in fresh air. I decided to go to an outlet near my house, it had pretty cheap designer clothes that were definitely my size.

I arrived at BCBG where I had saw some really nice booties which looked perfect on me. I spotted 2 familiar figures as I tried on the booties. I looked at my reflection in the mirror, making sure it fit nicely before I bought them. In the mirror, I saw Millie and Drew walking closely, hand in hand. Immediately, I turned around. Eek, this was the second time I saw them. I changed out of my booties into my flats, I inched closer to the pair, using the mirror to block me, that's when I noticed something abnormal-Millie was looking at her phone, texting and lost in thought, while Drew had earphones on, music probably blasting as loud as they could go for his liking. What was this?? It was meant to be a date, not a texting-on-your-phone-and-listening-to-music-date.

I didn't dare to walk any closer, jut in case they'd see me. I decided I was gonna spy on them through this date, that'll explain the problems of their dates. Very quickly, I shoved the booties to the cashier, paid, and left the shop, silently trailing behind Millie and Drew.

Eventually, they walked into a restaurant, and hesitantly, I followed them in. I put on my glasses so they wouldn't recognize me in any way. I never wore glass or put my hair in a French braid. Through the compact mirror, I could see them doing the exact same thing as before, looking at their phones and texting. This situation continued until they finished their meal and left, while I stayed. So this was the problem they had. No wonder Drew didn't want to tell me.

I left the restaurant and continued to shop. 

"What did you get?" Mom asked curiously.

I shoved the shopping bag to her.

"Ooo this looks great on you!" Her lips curled into a wide smile.

I replied her by flashing a quick smile, still thinking about Drew. I felt a little bad for him, having a girlfriend, getting to go on dates was great, but what actually happens during the dates aren't as good as a hopeless romantic like me have imagined.

I plucked out a letter and an envelope and began to write.

Dear Drew,

I've just seen one of your dates, oh dear, I'd thought, what or who turned a date into an introvert-day? I'm worried for you. This isn't going anywhere. Yes, I admit I'm jealous of Millie having you, but if you love her and it makes you truly happy, then I'm fine with it, I guess.

Well, sorry for following you through the date, but I HAD to, you never bothered to tell me the problems and I was worried. Have I done something wrong? How am I not up to your standards of loving a girl? I've got a secret to tell you, in my wildest dreams we're a cute couple, I know you'll never think like that, but then, "I like to wonder about the what-ifs, about the road not taken."-Jenny Han, To All The Boys I've Loved Before. And, as you know, I like to write, and writing requires a lot of imagination, which is exactly what I have. In my wildest dreams, you'd say you love me, that you'd remember me no matter what, can that ever happen in true life? Sometimes, I think I wonder way too much, thinking everything in my dreams are true, the real world scares me, Drew. Because But I won't be scared if you're with me, no matter what. It's the 6th letter I've written to you now.

Love,

Alicia

I sealed the envelope, placing it carefully into the box, taking out the other letters and reading them one by one.

Dear Drew,

Would it be weird if I'm officially writing the things I've noticed about you and all the pieces of you that I always try to capture in my mind? This is the third letter I've written, and it's becoming a habit.

Remember, back then, when we were 12? Meh, a lot of things happened when we were 12,. But. Remember Truth Or Dare? Maybe you don't, but I hope you do... There was a bunch of people playing including us. There was a rumour going on about us, saying we were a thing, when I'm the one who likes you and you didn't like me back. I chose dare. Someone dared me to hug you, remember? Inside, I was like, no, please, no. I mean, I know it's only a rumor but I didn't want to hug you in public. Genevieve pushed me into you while Millie pushed you into me. I was afraid af. But somehow, I wish I could've remembered all the details, but sadly, I couldn't. No even when it was back then. I closed my eyes when there wasn't any space between us. Everything happened too quickly, I guess. If not, I would've remembered every single detail.

I also remember that once I caught you sleeping in class, and you told me back when you sat with someone else, you wouldn't be disturbed from your sleep. I felt like crap, but sleeping in class ain't the right thing, Drew.

Well, if I had to write everything, I could write a novel, so that's all.

Love,

Alicia

I sighed as I sealed the letter again before opening another letter.

Dear Drew,

I saw you today with Millie. I have to admit, I'm jealous of her-

I stopped. I didn't bother to read the letters I've written. Drew's taken. What exactly is the point of writing when this love is unrequited? I told myself to stop loving him, then it felt like my heart said that it was hard to tell my mind to stop loving him when my heart still does.

I give up. I can't stop loving him.

I just can't.

He gave me so many things that are impossible to forget, how can I ever stop loving him? If he ever knew exactly how much I felt about him, what would be his reaction, even? I don't know. We've only been close friends, never wrote each other deep stuff about love...

I'm not even sure will all the time I've spent thinking about him has gone to waste.

Maybe, maybe not. Hopfully not.

Author's Note

HAI GUYZ HERES CHAPPIE NINE SAWWY FOR THE WAIT(if you've actually waited) cuz i had to think about what Alicia would write in her letters. I ran out of ideas on letter no. 4, as u see, that's why i said 'I stopped.' Well...what's gonna happen in chappie ten???(actually idk too still thinking)-Swiftie_4eva