Everyone in this world has that one enthusiastic friend.The friend that seem like she has no problem at all in this world.Famous for her face splitting smile.
Yet,have you ever wondered what was under that smile.Under that well crafted mask of theirs.That beautiful big,bright shinning smile,that it blinds everyone that sees it.
What if I tell the only reason the smile is so wide,is so that it hides their eyes. As the eyes are the window to ones heart ,the smile itself is a distraction to keep people looking away from their eyes.
Hidden beneath that smile is the pain and sadness felt by them.Some may call smiles like these a fools' smile.There is truth in thise word though as those smiles are really a fools smile,as the person themselves are a idjit to think of themselves as a burden and bottling up all their negative thoughts.
Waiting for one day ,for that one special person to appear.The one person that is able to understand all their feelings.The one special person that can look pass that foolish smile of thiers.While their waiting they are slowly dying on the inside waiting for their own personal HERO to arrive.
Their only sense of happiness derives from the knowledge of knowing that they have been helpful to those around them.By acting as a listening ear,and giving helpful advice.
lt hurts me though to see her in this state ,with that stupid smile etched on her face,her ever polite and sweet attitude it disgusts me to the core .How fake she looks.How whenever she looks like she wants to talk she will open then close her mouth like she is hesitating ,second guessing herself.This goes unseen by many though as the action is so subtle.Even though she is crowded by millions of people there seem to always be a distance between her and her friends like she is all alone.I hate it when she always listens to her friends problemso,give the best advice yet she herself bottles up all her problem never listening to her own advice always acting like a burden.
Seeing her like this make me want to scream and shout how annoying,how fake she was acting but most of all how wrong she is to think about herself being as a burden.That stupid smile,that happy go lucky carefree personality I hate it all but most of all I hate how she acts like an open book yet when you think about it you know nothing at all about her.She is ME,I.
I hate myself there I said it,I know that is me. I know even though I may seem to have a lot of friends there is always this distance a gap between us ,even though I seem down to earth there is always things I can never disclose even to my closes friends.I tend to filter a lot of my wordsas I am afraid to insult you.This fear I carry prevents me from doing so.The fear of losing all my friend if I ever complain to them, if I ever ask them for space. I fear of their unhappiness which will lead to them abandoning me and again I will be all alone.I Trixie Ong have monophobia,I confess.
I wish though that my knight in shinning armour will be there to sweep me of my feet.Yet sometimes i think this is just wishful thinking.I find myself thinking these questions.Will someone be there? Will someone appear? Will someone save me from my self imposed hell?Will i get my fairy tale ending?When will my hero come?I don't know honestly.
But all I can do now is wait and wait while I scream for help from within.While i shed countless of tears behind my facade ,hoping that someone would notice that I was perfect maybe too perfect. Waiting for My HERO that would one day reach their hand out to my call of help.Save me from drowning in despair
UNTIL THEN I WILL WAIT FOR YOU MY DEAR HERO
