Five Steps | Chaelisa

Chapter 24

Roseanne's POV

I place my hands firmly on either side of her shoulders, looking her square in the eye. A bead of sweat rolls down my forehead as the voices around us grow more and more muffled, until it's just me... and her.

"Manoban, I need you to focus. Do you hear me?" I say, more seriously than I've said anything before. She nods, firm, like she understands the gravity of the situation.

"Are you two going to make out or are we going to play?" Kendall asks, pulling us out of our huddle and back into the Holland Hall common room. They have a challenging smirk smeared across their face as they bounce the ball off the worn Ping-Pong table.

"Just serve the ball," I say, doing my best to swallow a laugh and keep a straight face for the sake of the competition. Lisa looks at me and then across the table to Jordan and Kendall, our opponents.

"I have never seen her like this," Lisa says through an amused chuckle.

"Twenty, eighteen. Game point," Jordan announces as Kendall serves the ball, and just like that we're in it. All four of us are laser-focused as we volley back and forth.

I was pretty nervous to come to the first game night by myself, but even though I know Lisa is on a deadline, I'm not at that point with Suzy yet, so naturally, I asked Lisa to join me. The nerves wore off surprisingly quickly, though. Something about getting my blood pumping playing a game that I love really set me at ease and helped me to just be myself.

Lisa is holding up her side of the table pretty well, considering how little she's played, but Kendall is good. If we're going to beat them, I need to pull out a few tricks that Alice taught me over summer breaks when she was home from college.

As the ball comes flying off Jordan's paddle and over to me, I attempt a return with backspin, but it falls a little flat... right into Kendall's corner.

"You trying for this, Roseanne?" they ask, sliding the paddle at a perfect angle, along the bottom of the ball. It sails over the net to Lisa, who is not at all ready for the abrupt backspin. She swings her paddle right through empty air, and the ball goes bouncing onto the floor.

Game over.

"Dang!" I yell, before a smile spreads across my face. "Good game, good game."

"Sorry, Park," Lisa says.

"We'll get 'em next time," I reply, loud enough for our opponents to hear.

"Like hell you will," Jordan says with a laugh as the two girls who live across the hall from me take our paddles to play the winners.

Lisa and I head over to the "potluck table," which is just a bunch of incredibly low-quality snacks spread out across a pool table that's so old, the green felt is practically gray. We were all asked to bring something. I managed to cut up a block of cheddar cheese and put it with some crackers on a paper plate, and Lisa brought two bags of chips from, wait for it... 7-Eleven.

"Oh my God, who did this?" I ask, directing Lisa's attention to an open tube of raw cookie dough, a plastic knife stuck into the top.

"I don't know, but I think I might marry them," she replies as I twist my face up in disgust, watching her cut off a slab from the end and pop the whole thing into her mouth.

"That is so gross." I reach for a couple of 7-Eleven chips.

"Hey." Lisa pauses to move the mass of cookie dough into her cheek so she can talk. "You're, like... really good. I thought you told me you weren't a 'sporty lesbian.'" She says the last bit with air quotes.

"Ping-Pong isn't a sport. It's an art form," I say.

Lisa shoves me playfully in response. "You're ridiculous."

A text buzzes in, and I pull out my phone to find a whole chain of texts from my mom that I must've missed during the heat of the game.

The first is a picture of Hank, chasing a flock of geese into a pond at the park.

I'm taking a walk with your dad.

I was thinking about coming down tomorrow? Maybe lunch with your sister?

How's Lisa? Did you wear any of your new clothes yet? Are you busy?

Roseanne?

Do you want to do lunch?

... I'll take that as a no?

"Oh my God, my mom is like..." My voice trails off as I tuck my phone into my pocket and rub my face in frustration.

"What?" Lisa asks, smearing cookie dough on top of one of the crackers I brought.

"She's just being, like... a lot. I told her that I needed some space, but... it seemed to only work for about a week."

"Maybe you should just call her? When's the last time you talked to her?" she asks.

"That's not the point. I mean, I'm in college now. She can't just come crashing into my dorm room unannounced and whisk me away for a girls' day whenever she wants."

"Roseanne, I think she just wants to be a part of your life," Lisa says. "I mean, I would kinda kill for a mom that actually... cares."

"Oh. Sorry. I..." I want to be sympathetic, but I don't want her to run away again, like she did the other night. I decide that the best thing to do is to explain myself. "I just... for a long time my mom was my best friend. My only friend. But now... I need some freaking space from her. I'm trying to gain a little independence." I take a deep breath. "I mean, it's working. This is working. I'm like a different person from the one who moved here at the beginning of the semester."

"Yeah." She huffs out a laugh, thinking of some embarrassing memory of me, I'm sure. "You've come a long way, but we still have three more steps, and—"

"Lisa, Roseanne, you two ready for a rematch?" Jordan asks.

"We'll go easy on you this time," Kendall adds. I shake my head with a laugh as I try to push my mom out of my mind.

We step up to the table, but just as they're about to serve, my phone buzzes in my pocket a couple of times.

"Hang on." I slip it out, thinking it might be Suzy, but it's still my mom, and this time she's trying to call me. I flip the phone for Lisa to see, letting my shoulders drop.

"Maybe just answer it?" she says with a cringe, knowing that I don't want to. "Be right back," I say to Kendall and Jordan before stepping out into the hall. I swipe right and my mom's grainy face comes into view.

"Hey, baby! Ooooh, what's that? Sounds like you're with your friends? Friends. I love that!" she says, and I glance behind me, realizing she can hear them on the other side of the double doors. I step down the hall to get away from it, then lean back against the wall.

"Mom, what's up?" I say, trying to not sound too irritated, but it's not easy right now.

"I was just calling to catch up. It's been a while."

"It's been, like, three days," I reply, another stab of frustration hitting me as I remember what happened that day at the food court.

"I know, I just—" she starts.

"Mom, I gotta go. I'm busy right now, okay?" I tap my foot against the floor over and over.

"Okay, I won't keep you from your friends. But don't forget to call me sometime when you're free."

"Sure," I reply shortly, before ending the call and slipping the phone back into my pocket.

Lisa hands me my paddle as I step back into the room to join her at the table. I try to forget about it as we play, but there's a nagging feeling in the back of my head that I can't shake.

I just know at some point I need to have a real talk with my mom about this, about needing space from her. About that embarrassing scene at the food court and what that stuff does to me. But not right now. Right now, all I want to do is crush this game.