Like I had stated before this won't be a story about people falling in love. Or crazy off the wall shit. This is about a woman with everyday thoughts and opinions.
I really don't give a shit who reads it or doesn't. This is for me. I have decided that since I am an angry person that I should find a way to vent and why not put it on paper. My thoughts and opinions are just that. MINE. Some won't agree and well some will definitely feel some type of way.
Anyway to those who ever run across this and take time to read remember one thing. I am me. Always will be and I don't change for anyone. I'm aggresive, mean and can very much be a bitch. With all that said I do have a heart and that son of a bitch feels too. Let's give a preview of who I was.
I was raised by my grandmother from the age of 3mths to until I was 9. During that time I would go to church faithfully. My mother was never really in the picture. My two older siblings were caught up in their own shit. My sister was around more often or I guess you could say I was up her ass more than anything. My brother well I can't really say because I don't remember him being around that much. Growing I was sheltered from the world.
My mother was busy building her life with her new husband so I thank god I got lucky and had my grams there. Until i turned 9. I guess you could say thats when my mother decided she wanted to be a mom again and I was snatched up and taken to live with her. Thats when everything went to shit and the blind fold i had on my eyes was pulled off.
I started to look at life differently and found out things that were kept hidden. I won't go into that because those are not my skeletons to share. I will only speak of my own.
By 12 I was way more mature than those in my age group and had one hell of a body to go with it. At that time I met my kids father. By 15 I was a mom to a beautiful little girl with black hair and electrifying green eyes. Hence why we named her Jazmin. Went to school. Got a job and my own place. Us three became a family at a tender young age. Few years later my son was born. He became Edwin the third.
All through out that time I didn't know how to truly express myself. I would bottle up the way I felt about things and how people treated me. Especially my family.
I have been through enough shit in my life to last a lifetime, but I'm a trooper and just keep pushing. I held in a lot of anger and resentment until one day I just didn't give a fuck. I blew up and went off on my own mother.
You can't disrespect someone if what you say is the truth. I know my words hurt her, but I don't take them back. That's what I feel and I won't apologize for it. It is what it is.
I moved away from everyone and to this day it has been the best move I've made. I have a good job and my kids are healthy. To me that's all that matters. Everything else is irrelevant. I'm still the same angry person. I don't take shit from anyone. Most of all I still don't give a damn. I put my feelings first. When it comes to me personally. Let's not get it twisted my kids come first on everything.
So here we are to the present day where I'm actually writing this shit down. Looking back I could have done things differently. I could've handled some things better but fuck it. I learned from it and got over it. I don't care who likes it or not. As long as my kids are happy I'm happy. Everyone else can go fly a kite or jump off a bridge. Either way I don't care.
I guess I should bring this to a close. Seeing as I have to go to wally world and do some food shopping. I will return. Who knows maybe even later or tomorrow,but I definitely will be back. On that note love, peace and hair grease ✌
