I found her under the willow tree. I look into her eyes for the last time, a seemingly impossible color of spectacular blue. Her dark curls lay in lifeless ringlets around her head. The pink of her cheeks gone. She was dead.
I was always afraid of death while she was always afraid of life. As kids we'd run to this same tree and just look at it. She was always afraid of not getting to climb it because she was so small. I was afraid of falling out of it if I ever did decide to climb the beast. I guess we both got what we wanted in the end.
She had enough of life. All the exclusion, taunting, teasing, emotional and physical pain inflicted on her over time finally got her. She was never afraid of death. She welcomed it with open arms because she thought death was the only way for her to escape.
I'll miss the late nights she'd call crying to come to my apartment. She'd walk in with bruises and cry on my shoulder for hours until we both fell asleep. Then in the morning she'd talk about her problems.
We've both had problems while growing up together. My parents both died in the act of duty in Afghanistan so I lived with my drug abusing Uncle and he'd beat me during a high or worse. Her dad had done awful,unspeakable things to her while he was both drunk and sober and her mom died from overdose. So we had some rough pasts.
When I checked my voicemail this morning I heard her crying as she spoke:
"Please meet me at the tree."
I came across her body immediately after under our tree in my uncle's backyard. She wore the only dress she had. A short, white sundress that makes her look like a goddess despite the cuts on her wrist and the scars she bears. Next to her lies a prescription bottle and a note:
"I've had enough of this life. I love you. Forever." Written on her arm is my name in permanent ink. I cry. My only friend. Dead.
I clutch her body to my chest and kiss her cold lips, chapstick still moist. She felt this was the only way to make someone love her, when I loved her since the day I laid my eyes on her.
"I always loved you. Forever."
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