See Me for Me

Cracking Up and Crashing Down

"Keep up, thief!" 

"Yeah, no, I'm trying," Rupert groaned, stepping over a fallen log. He barely stopped himself from falling, and stumbled to the prince's side. "It's just a little difficult carrying all your stuff." 

Prince Amir scoffed. "Please. When I was six, I had to carry twice that amount up ten flights of stairs every morning before breakfast." 

"Because your parents were sadists?" 

"Because I was learning how to be a prince!" He used his sword to clear a few branches from the path. "And when you're a prince, you have the entire weight of your kingdom on your shoulders, which means you have to be able to carry any burden." 

"Interesting theory." Rupert was actually glad his mother never made him do that. "So, what else did your princely training consist of?" 

"My training? The usual. Riding. Archery. Proficiency in sword, rapier, and dagger." 

"Oh, sure," Rupert said casually. It seemed like a lot to him, but Queen Atossa clearly had a very different parenting style than Lavinia. 

"Also spears, lances, axes, ropes and lassos," he continued, "maces and shields, catapults, battering rams, and hand-to-hand combat, of course." 

Rupert was pretty sure he had missed everything after axes, but he tried his best not to look lost. "Uh, yeah. Of course." 

The prince didn't slow down. "Then, there were my academic studies. Science, mathematics, history, astronomy, oration, law, ethics, biology, commerce, and a smattering of the classical languages," he said so quickly it must have been rehearsed. "Like I said, the usual." 

Rupert stopped in his tracks, both from shock and from the fact that he was realizing just how out of shape he was. "Wait, you learned all of that?" 

"Of course." Right, Prince Amir of the East didn't joke about anything. "What do you think a prince does-- lounge around all day throwing balls and dancing at festivals?" 

"Yeah. No!" he said quickly. "Can you imagine doing eighteen years of nothing but that? That would be insane." Rupert did love making ironic inside jokes that only he would understand. And he didn't have to worry about Prince Humorless catching on. 

"Exactly," His Royal Highness agreed. 

That could've been the end of the conversation, but Rupert had to admit, he kind of liked talking to the prince. "So. . ." He searched for something to say. "What are your parents like? Is your mom obsessed with getting you married?" 

"Why would she be obsessed with that? I'm not even eighteen." 

"Right? Thank you! I knew I wasn't crazy." 

"My mother's only obsession," the prince continued, "is the destruction of this forest, and the safety and protection of our people." 

Rupert wasn't exactly sure what to say to that. "Good," was what he settled on. "That's good. What did she say when you told her you were coming here? I mean, she must've been pretty proud of you." 

The Prince of the East, for once, was silent. 

"She wasn't proud of you?" He regarded Prince Amir. When he got no response again, Rupert started to put the pieces together. "You didn't tell her." 

The prince furrowed his eyebrows and pointedly looked away. That was all the answer he needed, really. 

"Oh, wow," Rupert laughed, because Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes Prince had gone behind his own mother's back to come to the Forbidden Forest. "You are going to be in so much trouble when you get home."