Dazai Osamu stood there and watched the dark sky with its stars on it. Again and again he asked himself the same question. "Is there really any value to this thing we call living?" For him there wasn't. They weren't any reasons why he should continue this stupid life.
Oda died, he left the port mafia and with that he left Chuuya Nakahara. Chuuya was the only one that knew how Dazai really felt and the only one who Dazai ever loved. He hated to admit it but it was true. No matter how much he thought about it and how many explanations he tried to find. He always came back to one word. Love.
And no matter how much he thought about it, a relationship between the two of them couldn't work. There would always be the Port Mafia. There would always be this fucking, cruel world. And there would always be the terrible memories.
They were to young for all this. They were kids. 15 year old kids.
When Dazai left the Port Mafia he spent days, thinking about taking Chuuya with him. But he was convinced Chuuya wouldn't have left with him. His former partner thought Mori was a good leader... But would he thought the same way if he knew what happened to Oda and his 5 kids because of Mori?
Everything in live made Dazai so misfortune that he decided to finally end it. He really tried to be happy again. He covered everything up with humor and stupid suicide methods, but nothing worked. And the worst thing about it was that everyone believed him. Everyone thought he was the happiest person alive. Everyone believed him. Everyone but himself believed Dazai was happy.
The only persons who would have understand him were Oda and Chuuya. But one of them is death and the other one hates him.
He stood there for almost an hour, thinking about if he should jump or just go home and keep on pretending everything's alright. But there will never be an end if he keeps on. So he made his decision. It's going to end. Now.
The man slowly went closer to the end of the bridge and his hands began to tremble. He didn't know why. Like he tried to kill himself a thousand times, so why did he get nervous all out of sudden?
He reached the end and looked down. The water was dark and probably very cold. Dazai closed his eyes and jumped down the bridge.
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Just let me go please ~ soukoku
FanfictionChuuya catches Dazai committing suicide. But something was different from his previous suicide attempts. This time Dazai was serious. From then on, he set himself the goal of making Dazai happy again. TW: Suicide, BL, Violence, Insulting/swearing...
