Dear Sweetheart!

The Reason

There is nothing more traumatizing than realizing your parents still have sex.

Apparently, Mom is going to have a menopause baby. Her last pregnancy was at 21, with me. Now 28 years later, at 49 years of age, she is pregnant once again.

It is rattling and uncomfortable to all of us. But, the real concern is if Mom wants to continue with the pregnancy, and what are the implications of carrying a child at this age. Lies, a part of me thinks.

"With all due respect, it is up to your mother to decide what she wants to do." Annika Didi (now that Bhaiyya ordered) says before giving Mom the pregnancy report, ultrasound since Mom is in her 8th week, and a due date.

Mom cannot actually think of having the baby.

"Your mother is pregnant." Annika Didi said when we came inside. We were not allowed for the ultrasound which makes sense, but then Papa told O and I to accompany them for the final reports and any details we should know.

Mom is on the verge of tears.

"I do not know if this is good news or bad news for you. But whatever it is, I am here to help you with any decision you make." She assures in such a soothing voice that we ourselves feel assured in the moment. But, she makes it abundantly clear that she is talking only to the mother, not to any of us.

"Janhvi..." Dadi trails off.

We are cringing.

"If you could stop judging your parents for being sexually active, it would be nice. Do not force her to make a decision your mother does not want to make." Annika Didi warns with a sweet smile, giving O and I the stink eye.

She is opinionated and not afraid to share those opinions. She is also right but come on. For her health, maybe this baby is not a good idea.

Liar, a voice in my brain whispers. To be honest, embarrassment is the real reason why I am so against this pregnancy. So is the rest of my family. Said family is waiting outside, faces pale for sure.

We, Oberois, love our reputation.

"Take care." I tell Annika Didi, really wishing she understands that Bhaiyya is always so anxious about her safety, also something Khanna revealed.

"You too." That warm smile is probably why Bhaiyya fell. Wouldn't blame him.

When we re-enter the waiting room, Bhaiyya is standing, pensive, while the rest are pale-faced as predicted.

"Let's go." O says, and they all nod. Bhaiyya, though, seems confident and un-rattled.

"Bade Maa." Bhaiyya takes her hand into his. It is his composure that assures everyone. It always does. Maybe that is why all of us are so dependent on him. His confidence and sheer will is what makes us an unit.

O looks at Annika Didi, which also makes me look at her. She has a bright smile on her face. Maybe the brightest of today.

Sensing that Bhaiyya might want to say something to his lady love, I say, "We will go to the parking lot."

Choti Maa wants to say something but Dadi stops her.

He nods.

I cannot even give a teasing smile.

As we walk towards the exit, we—I—hear her voice, "Finally, you did it. Bring your family together."

"I did." Bhaiyya agrees.

"I am so proud of you." That stops O. I do not know what he is thinking. I don't want to either. While I adore this love Bhaiyya is fortunate to have, a part of me cannot stop the panic of being blind to the 10 years Bhaiyya was alone in Toronto. Or, the fear of Bhaiyya loving someone that we know nothing about.