Death Spiral Smackdown

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It was time for gym class. Adam, Leo, and I were standing next to a big white sheet in the middle of the floor while some of the students in the class were doing exercises. "Prepare yourselves, Dingoes! It's time for my annual fitness challenge week!" Principal Perry announces. "This year, forget about push-ups and sit-ups. It's time for bruises, sprains, and freak accidents! I present the Death Spiral Smackdown!"

Principal Perry pressed a button that revealed a red platform with skulls along the side of it and a red and blue spiral in the middle. Steam comes out of the corners of the platform, and scary music plays as a spotlight points at Principal Perry. We all looked at the death spiral in awe.

"Well, say what you will about her, but she knows how to bring the sizzle," Adam says to Leo.

"Why do you call it the Death Spiral? I mean...it doesn't look so scary to me." I say.

"Why don't I have Vice Principal Cochran demonstrate for you?" Principal Perry says as she grabs the vice principal and puts him on the death spiral. She turns on the machine, and it starts to spin the vice principal around. It was going so fast that he was flown off the platform and landed on his back. Principal Perry laughs loudly.

"That is so cool!" I exclaimed excitedly.

"I know, right? I can't wait to go against somebody on this thing!" My friend Andi says, walking up to me.

"Me too! This is gonna be so great!" I say, giving Andi a high five.

"It's not broken! Walk it off!" Principal Perry shouts.

"Wait, s...so how does it work?" Adam asks, walking up to Principal Perry.

"You wrestle your opponent as it spins you silly. It'll test your strength, reflexes, and ability to hold your bladder against centrifugal force!" Principal Perry laughs.

"What do you think, Leo? Can you handle it?" A boy with red hair says, walking up to Leo. He was wearing a green cape.

"Well, my bladder's strong, but just to be safe, I'm sticking to dark gym shorts," Leo says.

"I myself will be wearing a full-body diaper. In the face of fear, you never know where you're gonna leak from." The boy says.

"If you have the guts, partner up, and choose carefully. Your survival depends on the decision you make, and there are very few good options!" Principal Perry laughs.

"Well, Leo, every year we lose the fitness challenge, but this year, we're gonna do it in style." The boy says. "I don't wanna brag, but...I totally earned the sewing merit badge." He holds up a green cape and hands it to Leo.

"Listen, Gordo, I don't want to have a cape. I want to be a winner, so this year, we're going in a different direction." Leo says.

"We are?" Gordo says.

"Yes. But by we, I mean not you." Leo says, handing the cape back to Gordo. "I'm going with someone else."

"Oh. I see." Gordo says. "That's okay because most of the school would give their right hand to be my partner." He turned around and looked at some jocks, but they walked away from him.

"I'm sorry, Gordo, but with my new partner, I'm gonna win this thing," Leo says.

Principal Perry laughs. "You're gonna try this again? Last year you threw your back out picking your wedgie!"

"Well, this year's gonna be different because I have a secret weapon," Leo says, pointing to Adam and me.

"Oh, what is it?" Adam asks, confused.

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