Vandalized (Sequel to Recovery)

one.

New York City, the city everyone dreamed of visiting and many wanted to populate. It's the city that'll rob you and cheat you. It'll take your friends and turn them on you. It'll break your heart and kick your ass, but it'll pick you back up and make you feel so alive and untouchable. Once it's in your heart, it'll never leave you. And here I was now, living in this beautiful, electric city, yet I still felt that shock of loneliness every. single. day.

Hailing a cab was probably one of the first things I learned how to do when I stepped into the New York life. The second thing I learned was that my car was pretty much useless because the traffic here was worse than in Los Angeles. I had to get myself a Metrocard and learn how to ride the subway, which was actually so hard. I never went a day without seeing at least one rat run across the floor at the station and it was just the worst thing ever.

However, it was much easier than trying to get a cab and sit in traffic all the way to school and be 15 minutes late for class. Because I lived in Brooklyn, it was about a 30 minute ride to Manhattan. My freshman year, I freaked out over being a minute late, but I ended up being the first one in class. The beginning of my sophomore year, I thought it was okay to be late, so it grew into a habit and now it was just expected. It was easier living on campus, but whatever. I had a lot more freedom and space now that I was living on my own.

I wasn't actually on my own, but I considered it my own because it was outside of school. I was living with my friend, Taliyah, or as I liked to call her, Tee. She was my roommate while living in the dorms, so because I got to know her so well, I thought it'd be a good idea to get a place with someone I've lived with before. We were both psych majors, so that only made living with her that much easier. She knew how important it was to study and do work, but she also knew when it was appropriate to go out and have fun. Because she was from around here, she knew her way around. She was the one that helped me when I was lost, literally.

Ever since being thrown into a room with her, me and Taliyah have been the absolute best of friends. She knew almost everything about me and I knew a lot about her. She was really private about her life, but she surprisingly let me in on a lot. She always said her boyfriend was the only one that knew her whole life story.

Speaking of boyfriends, I have one now. Not the same one, but he's still as amazing. His name is Nate and I love him to absolute pieces. Taliyah introduced me to him one day when we were out with her boyfriend and after that, we became great friends, which turned into a relationship. I felt a bit uncomfortable going into a relationship after everything that happened, but I felt it was okay for me to move on, so I did. He always asked about my past relationships, but I never gave him details like 'my ex is now a very famous musician.' The only ones that knew about him were the people from back home and I may've let it slip out in a conversation with Tee.

I never told her who specifically it was, but I'm sure she'll figure it out when she comes across an article online when doing something for her journalism class. She searched my name a couple of times, but I never gave her the chance to see the results. When she saw I was totally not comfortable with her knowing that much about me, she stopped and she never brought it up again. Up until Nate happened. She questioned me if he and Justin were alike, but I simply shook my head or changed the subject. She'd annoyingly cluck her tongue, shove me, and walk away. I'd follow her to her room laughing, until she slammed her door in my face.

It's not that I didn't want to tell her about him, but I didn't think I, myself, was ready to have a conversation about him. He was a major part of my life and it still hurt everyday not being with him, but that's just how things were meant to happen, I guess. I thought of him a lot and I always said it was a waste because he looked so happy now, but I couldn't help myself. He made the best sides of me come out. He made me better. But I warned him and myself.