Burning Admiration

Chapter 5

LIZ

"I'm sorry we can't be there to settle you in, honey," the guilt still lingered in my dad's voice, "All your belonging have been moved in, and I think you'll like the new place we got you." I could hear the hope in his voice. "It's okay, dad. You have done enough already. I can't thank you enough. We just pulled up, call you tomorrow?". "Of course, love you," I ended the call as the car came to a stop.

I am thankful for all my parents have done. The security guards may be a bit too much, but it puts my dad at ease - and honestly, I didn't realize how much I needed that sense of safety until I was out of the hospital and back in the real world. Back in the real world as a broken doll, a broken and scared version of who I once was.

Alfred opened my door and led me to the staircase, "Please let me know if there's anything I can do for you, Mrs. Carlisle." He gave me the same sad eyes that my parents did, full of pity. "Thank you, Alfred," I kissed him on the cheek and headed into the lobby. The lobby was expansive and had floor-to-ceiling windows with beautiful white marble floors. It was beautiful, though I wasn't surprised - my parents always had great taste.

"This way, Mrs. Carlisle," Benjamin said, leading me to the elevator. Benjamin was one of the men who had been assigned to my security detail. He was an older gentleman, maybe early 40s, and he sported a goatee and a buzz cut - probably the exact image that would come to mind when you think of a bodyguard.

Benjamin opened the door to my apartment, and I was greeted by a beautiful skyline view of New york provided by the wall of windows. The dark, chestnut wooden floors gave the apartment a homier feel when compared to the white marble floors found in the lobby.

"Hello, Mrs. Carlisle. I'm Burt," He stretched out his hand to shake mine. He had a similar burly build to him that Benjamin had, though he seemed a bit younger. "The security cameras have been installed per your dad's request, and a connection to our server has been established. I can assure you that the footage will only be monitored incrementally - for your safety." "Great, thank you," I said nervously. My dad had said the same thing. Having security guards was an idea I came around to, but when my dad mentioned security cameras, I was much more hesitant. The idea of eyes being on me 24/7 made me feel uneasy, but I suppose if they are only being monitored incrementally, then I could get used to the idea.

"We'll be right outside," Benjamina and Burt walked into the hall, and I was left alone in the apartment. I looked around, taking it all in and trying to comprehend what this all meant for me. The new apartment. The security guards. A stranger's eyes in my apartment - I looked up at the security camera that was mounted in the corner of the living room.

Who would be watching me, day in and day out? I suppose either Burt or Benjamin?

Where do I go from here? Back to life as usual? I'm not sure there's any other choice but to move on. I let out a sigh and made my way to my couch. I laid there, though the worries of my past and my future kept me from relaxing. Going to bed seemed like the best option for quieting my mind.

I walked across the living room and down the hall. There was an open door that led me into my bedroom. My parents had replaced all of my furniture and my bedding, but my pictures and knick-knacks had found their way here. I was comforted by the picture frames filled with memories of me with friends and family that sat on my dresser and my nightstands. A light brown, shagged rug covered the floor and perfectly complemented the cream silk comforter. A tall lamp in the corner stretched into the room and filled it with a light, orange glow. My new home.

I changed into a pajama set and headed into the kitchen to fill a glass of water. Tomorrow is Saturday, maybe I'll reach out to Hailey and see about going out to dinner. It'll be good for me. If there's one person who won't look at me like a broken doll, it's Hailey. A night out with her will be perfect for getting my mind off of these past couple of days.

I climbed into bed and curled up into the comforter. Falling asleep to the faint sound of New York's busy streets was the perfect lullaby.