Even When (Ricky + Nini)

chapter 12 - i miss you, i'm sorry

[a/n : Title is from the song "I miss you, I'm sorry" by Gracie Abrams]

Nini had been staring at her phone all day, waiting for Ricky's name to pop up on her screen. In reality she knew he would call exactly at 9 pm for his daily bedtime talk with Joel, and he wouldn't reach out to her at any other time. But deep inside she still hoped that he would change his mind, that he would somehow miss her and tell her that he wants to end the break.

She knew it had only been a week but it felt like someone ripped her heart out and put it in a food processor. She felt like days went by and she only functioned for Joel. She woke up because she had to feed him, she left the house to take him to school, she put on a brave face for his sake, and then she slept because she knew she had to wake up the next day and do it all over again.

"Hello. Earth to Nini?" Ashlyn waved a hand in front of Nini's face. Right. Ash was here. She totally forgot.

Her friends had been "visiting" a lot as of late. Red probably told them that she was going through something with Ricky and made them check on her. On Tuesday, Kourtney came over for an impromptu movie night. On Wednesday, Red came to deliver some leftover sandwiches from the shop. On Friday, Gina came over to "hang" with her and Joel.  Tonight it appeared to be Ashlyn's turn.

"Hey.. sorry. I was just .. distracted." Nini said putting her phone away. "It's been a tough week."

"What's going on with you guys? I know Red said you were dealing with something, but he didn't really explain it well."

"It's all my fault Ash." Nini had been strong for a whole week, but with Ashlyn's question the first tear fell. "He's really mad at me and I'm not sure he's gonna come around."

"Oh honey, come here."

Ashlyn wrapped her up in a bear hug and she just let everything out. The kiss. The arguments. The break.

"Ricky's always been insecure about this kind of thing... and he actually told me how he felt about Greyson." Nini wiped her tears and shook her head. "I said he had nothing to worry about."

"You were right. He still has nothing to worry about when it comes to you. It was Greyson who crossed the line."

"I should've seen it coming." Nini put her hesd in her hands. "I don't know what to do, Ash. He said some things and it scared me."

"Hey. Look at me." Ashlyn said taking her hands, "Just give it some time and respect his decision. He will come around. It's Ricky. He loves you to death that's why this is so hard for him to handle. The idea that you might be with another man probably shook him up real good."

"What if he never forgives me?"

"You can't think about the negative scenario, Nini. You're gonna drive yourself crazy." Ashlyn said, "Let the break run its course. And then you'll talk when he gets back. In the meantime you've got Joel and us."

"It's all I can think about, Ash."

"Listen. Let's have a girls' night okay?" Ashlyn pulled Nini into her arms. "We'll leave the boys with Red and a sitter this Friday, and we can do whatever you want. We'll watch chick flicks, sad movies, anything.. I'll make cookies and we'll have some wine."

Nini nodded. Perhaps that's what she needed right now. Support from her girls.
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They were well into their girls night in. They'd opened up a bottle of red, made some popcorn and had decided to watch "The Notebook." Just as Rachel McAdams breaks up with Ryan Gosling, the phone rang right on time, it was 9.00. Nini stepped out to the porch to take the call.