I wish you were mine (paused)

I wish you were mine...

Dear diary:

I was there. In the party. With him. I have never thought of this before. I just realized I liked him a few days ago, and I told my friends yesterday. I think I have liked him for a while, but I just haven't thought of him that way, or maybe I was just scared. I don't know. When I told my friends the great news (at least great for me), they were pretty happy for me, and said he was a nice guy and yada yada yada... So I wasn't alone, I actually had my friends support.

The only little problem was that I actually didn't know if he really liked me, he had said flirty things in the sport class, he had liked my profile picture, he had said I was super cute when I "naturally" showed him an old picture of me doing ballet when I was little, (we actually made a ridiculous plan for him to see the picture, and if he fell in the trap, he was interested in me). And yesterday, he had given me a flower, a purple one, the one I had now in my memories book. That day, I was leaving school when he passed by my side, our eyes met, I smiled and he gave me the flower -"For you"- he said, I gave such a huge smile, so damn big I think he laugh of me. -"Thank you"- I said, of course smiling, I just couldn't stop doing that. Then, I continue walking and he also continue his way to the school. So, at last, he seemed to like me, or maybe he was just playing, but I just don't and didn't want to think of that, I was overflowing love, my mind just wasn't ready to think bad things, and I'm glad of that, maybe, if I had thought the things a little bit more, nothing would ever happened.

The day of the party, Hana, one of my best friends, and me, decided to get dressed at my place. We tried like two hundred different clothes each, and then I decided for my new light blue jeans, a lace little shirt and a blue sweater. Of course, I was wearing my good luck panty, the one my sister had brought me from Victoria's Secret and my navy good luck bra, the one I had bought in Women's Secret like 2 years ago. We got painted, I sprayed liters of perfume in my neck, we thought of many different talks we could have with our respective crushes, (yes, Hana had one too!, his name was Gregor), and then, we were finally ready to have THE night of our lives.

When we arrived to Nick's house, they weren't there, which was a great new, because I was pretty nervous. We said hi to the guests and sat at the sofa. I was just with Hana because Lila was in a wedding, and Bella was in the south, on a school trip, which were great and bad news at the same time, we were going to have less observers, but also less support. I was gossiping and chatting with Hana about Owl, (Joe's secret name) and Cat, (Gregor's secret one) when we realized that some way, everyone at the party knew I had a crush on someone, and they wanted to know who he was. Of course I was not going to tell them, even though I wanted to shout it to the infinity and beyond. But then, HE arrived, and sat right next to me at the sofa, asking questions about my crush.  

It was a rainy day; a huge storm was painting the sky. Hana went outside with George, leaving me alone with Joe. He took me outside too and we started talking under a little roof. He said that he wanted a clue about my "owl", and I didn't know what to answer, because everything I could tell him was too obvious. He was going to catch it immediately. But then I realized I didn't mind if he guessed it, so I told him that he was born in December. He asked if we (me and my crush) were texting each other, and if we were hanging out. I told him the truth: -"I don't even have his number"-. Of course, he knew it. And, of course, I didn't care at all.