Falling is Hard

Chapter Two

Jamie, are you okay?" Myrtle his best friend asked, when the cute blonde boy suddenly trip on his feet and almost fall on his face.

Jamie chuckle nervously and straightened himself. He can't believe that he almost fall on the ground because of lack of sleep.

He's working very late last night, and its almost 6 in the morning when he slept.

"Yeah, just fine. But I'm so sleepy.." He yawned and nuzzle his head on Myrtle's shoulder.

"What did you do last night? Don't tell me, you've been playing that stupid games of yours again?!"

"Hmm.." He murmurs, not even correcting his friend. Still, he can't really tell to Myrtle that he's not actually playing some video games. Jamie consider Myrtle as his best friend but he's still not comfortable to talk about his personal issues with her. And besides, his job is not something he can talk openly to someone, especially to a girl like Myrtle.

"Gee Jamie, your heavy. And its almost 8, you know. The bell for first period will ring any minute now."

Jamie removed his head on Myrtle and look at her with a serious face. "Why do we have to be at school again? And Math for first period, that's so unfair.."

Myrtle giggle when she saw the boy begin stomping his feet, like a toddler while she skip along with him as they make their way on their first period.

"Don't be such a drama queen. And just move that big ass of yours."

"Hey! Lay off my butt!" He snorts and pat his bum then wiggle it playfully on the air. "Your just jealous of this, baby."

Some students stop walking and gawk at them. Jocks on the side wolf whistle before bursting into fits of laughter. Myrtle, the good friend of his, actually have a decency to drop on her knees and chortle like a dying pig, while thumping the tiled floor with her palm.

"Fuck Jam! You should see yourself! That is so fucking hilarious!" Myrtle exclaimed.

Then she jump on her feet and slung her right arm around Jamie's neck, still snorting. And then, they begun walking again. The other students who stopped before, started moving on their own ways too.

Jamie turn his face towards Myrtle, which still red from so much embarrassment. Though, he needs to look up a little bit. Jamie is much small for his age, standing at merely 5'4 tall and even his female friend and every female students on the school towers over him.

"Har, har." He mutter still feeling humiliated.

Jamie is known at their school as dumb and stupid, even though he's far from it. But still he can't stop behaving as one.

"Still, that's funny. Even Michael thinks so too."

Jamie hearing the boy's name perk on his feet and almost a puppy, wag his imaginary tail. "You really think so? How about his sister, Mara? Did you see her?"

Myrtle, lift her delicate well groomed brow at him and smirk. "Yeah." Then they both turn to a corner and continue walking.

Jamie knew what his friend is thinking. But he's really not gay. And even if Myrtle pleaded and asked for it to be true, he can't possibly be someone he's truly not.

"Just stop it, Myrtle. You know that I don't like Micahel, and for fucksake I'm not even gay!" He whisper-yelled. He's not planning on snapping like that, but the bitch that he called as his friend is still smirking at his way. And that irritate him to no end.

"Please Jam with your face and that ass, everyone will think that your definitely gay. So stop insisting that your not!"

Jamie flinch by her harsh voice, and stop on his tracks. Myrtle to his own disappointment didn't even looked back to check if he's still following or not.

He is not hurt by her outburst. And he understand her. But hearing something like that coming from her, seems to deflate his male ego.

Although she maybe right in some aspect. Jamie still hated it so much. He doesn't like the way he looks like, even his slightly curvy body and most especially, his big perky ass.

He exhale a mouthful of air and look at the almost empty hallway. Shaking his head, he spin on his heels and trudge towards the back of the school.

'Who needs to go to school anyways?' He silently thought.

Like always the back side of the school buildings is empty, just the way he liked it. Walking towards his favorite spot he lean his back on the wall, looked up at the greyish sky and sighed.

His mind came back on what he's thinking just a moment ago. And he can't help but grimaced. He shakily moved his arms around his body. Holding himself tight. Wishing to feel safe and protected.

He's a hypocrite, he admits. But, even though he keep screaming to the world that he's not gay, he's still an ass for using the body that he hated so much just to be able to live normally.

And its so unfair. He doesn't want this. To live like this, but what choice does he have?

No. There's none. His life can't be change anymore, And even though he has his own valid reasons, it doesn't change the fact that he's already dirty, tainted, and filthy...

Jamie's eyes glisten while a lone tear roll on his cheeks, leaving a trail of emotions on its wake.

He fought hard to keep his feelings at bay, but sometimes its hard. Just like today.

Just remembering how his life turn out, sent him to his knees. While a sob finally broke from his lips, as he start bawling his eyes out...

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