lee jeno + zhong chenle
{not requested}
anger
jeno has anger issues. he's working on it. he promises. but sometimes he can't control it. sometimes he goes blank. he doesn't mean to he promises.
but then there's times like now, where; he can't control it. he's so angry and next thing he knows everything around him is on the floor. either broken or just there.
he looked around, even more angry now that he let his anger get the best of him. frustrated he fell to the floor crying. scared he curled into himself.
alone.
alone.
he was alone. his boyfriend left and now he was alone. he felt so...so stranded. as if he was on an island where there was no other land or creature in sight. as he tried to control his breathing he didn't know if he wish for the breathing to regulate or to just stop completely.
jeno and his boyfriend got into an argument. a rather small one really. the one where you argue and then later laugh about. but, it got out of hand. jeno let his anger get the best of him and he snapped.
he was just tired and confused. why was his boyfriend coming home so late, and refused to tell him why? was he cheating? did he just not want to be around jeno anymore?
jeno doesn't know, and; that's what frustrates him most.
"fuck!" he screamed. he picked at his hair. tears flowed out his eyes as if his eyes were a waterfall. his breathing picked up even more, as if he just ran a 4 mile race with no water.
one breath.
two breaths.
three breaths.
suddenly he felt warm. the feeling you get after being out in the cold, and you sit in front of a fire, drinking some warm hot chocolate.
"hey....jeno?" that voice was familiar. he tried opening his eyes but he was too lost. he was surrounded by darkness and he couldn't control his thoughts. his actions. his emotions.
"don't- don't touch me" he yelled. it wasn't that loud in his head but to his boyfriend, chenle, it was definitely loud enough.
"quit yelling. why are you so angry? why are you so mad? why are you getting mad at me?!" he asked, voice gradually raising in volume.
"oh so when i yell it's a problem?! but when you do it it's ok fucking kay? im supposed to be just amazing at the fact my boyfriend comes home at 1-2 in the morning? im supposed to be calm at the fact he refuses to tell my why he's out so late? im supposed to be happy at the fact that i think" jeno stopped
the words got stuck in his throat. it felt as if someone wrapped there hands around his throat and he was unable to speak or breathe. his hands shook violently and he rubbed his palms on his thighs.
when did it get so hot in here?
jeno turned his back to chenle, he felt bad now. really bad for letting his angry get the best of him again. he felt like someone dumped boiling hot water over his head. he deserved it, he told him self.
chenle connected the dots. he frowned, now looking at the back of his boyfriend's head. fuck.
he walked over to jeno, he walked gently, he made sure that his tone and body language was calm and caring.
he grabbed jenos hands and shook at bit at how shaky they were. he raised both jenos hands to his mouth and kissed them. jeno looked away. more tears fell from his face as he bit his lip.
"my love, im so sorry. for one, im sorry for raising my voice at you. i know that you can't always control your anger and it's unintentional" he said, moving one of his hands to jenos face, trying to get the taller to look at him.
"secondly, im sorry for not telling you why i've been coming home late. it's not fair to you and im so sorry. but whatever you're thinking, it's not true. i love you and only you lee jeno. your my sun. you're the first person i think of in the morning and the last when i fall asleep."
jeno finally let his face be guided by his boyfriend. the two now looking at each other. chenle wiped the elders tears away. kissing his left eye. his right eye. how left brow. his right brow. his nose, his temple, and both sides of his cheek.
jeno smiled a bit "im sorry for letting my anger control me, im working on it." chenle smiled "i know my love , and im so proud of you for trying, you're making progress weather your realize it or not"
chenle moved both his hands to jenos waist. they fit so perfectly there. "i love you, my prince, my love, my baby, my angel" chenle said kissing him after every word.
jeno has anger issues
but with the help of his boyfriend
he's working on them.
end.
{851 words}
