𝕴𝖓 𝕳𝖎𝖘 𝕯𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖒𝖘 | Xiao x Reader Sequel

4

A/n: Quick Trigger Warning! This chapter has a lot of self-deprecating/hateful thoughts! It's okay to click off! I have some other books that are much more lighthearted, or you can also check out my recommended reads for some other Xiao x Readers! Take care <3

You didn't know how long you had been wandering through Liyue after leaving the funeral parlor, stumbling along and not paying any attention to your surroundings. It was as if you had gone completely blind, not even seeing your surroundings anymore as tears flowed down your face.

You had no idea where you were, and frankly, you didn't care. As long as no one else was around to hear your sobs, it didn't matter.

A few times you had heard the faint 'yar!' of some Hillichurls, but you ignored them, continuing on your nonexistent path. Everything was just too overwhelming right now, and you felt as if you were shutting down.

Eventually, you felt yourself stumble into a shallow pool of water so clear that you could even make out your disheveled reflection. Luhua Pool, maybe? The cold bit at your ankles, but that wasn't something that had ever particularly bothered you.

From the reflection in the pool, you could see a few stars overhead, confirming your suspicion that it was indeed nighttime now.

Finally, you allowed yourself to sit, plopping down in the water. It seemed to bring you back to reality a bit, and you wiped some of the tears from your eyes, restoring your vision. It didn't last long though, because when you looked up at the sky, the first thing that greeted you was Xiao's constellation amongst the stars, a painful reminder of what had happened today.

You felt the tears coming again, this time, letting them fall. The image of the bird in the sky was so dim now that you might have missed it, compared to the glow of the other stars. You were left with the cold reminder that you, Adeptus Y/n, the Mist Flower, were slowly killing the one you loved.

Not only that, but he was the only one that had never given up on you, despite how long you slept for. He had never stopped visiting, never stopped looking for a way to wake you, and how had you repaid him? Whether intentional or not, you had made his eternal pain worse.

It hurt to see someone you loved so much going through this, but the guilt you felt over being the reason for it made that pain so much worse. You placed a hand over your mouth, trying to muffle the sobs that began to escape as you internally attacked yourself.

There was still so much the two of you hadn't gotten to do yet, and now you might lose him before you could. You wanted to adopt that cat together that you'd always talked about, go to a Lantern Rite festival, pick flowers on a spring day.

You two had been separated for thousands of years, and you'd only just reunited a short while ago. Yet, you were about to be ripped apart again, probably for real this time. You couldn't bear it.

Maybe everything would have been better if you never woke up at all. You would have eventually died in your sleep, leaving this world and freeing everyone else of the burden that was you, right? You wouldn't have come back to hurt everyone, and you wouldn't have made things worse for Xiao.

You wished Guizhong had never tried to save you, that you had died in the Archon War way back when because you deserved to due to your own stupidity. After all, you had been the one that wanted to join the front lines.

You thought back to the five Yakshas. While you hadn't been particularly close with any of them besides Xiao, you had witnessed many of their great feats, always admired how they fought on, despite the pain and suffering that plagued them.

You remembered hearing about what had happened to Bosacius, how he had been driven to madness by his Karmic Debt, eventually even forgetting his own name.