The reaction

The question that lead to no answers and a roof party for two

As we settle down, the talk in the room turns towards a sketch. Apparently the guys have there own YouTube channel called "The Warp Zone". It sounds really awesome, all about nerdy subjects and games, anyway apparently they need Joshua and Wes to be part of a sketch they're doing.

I don't really understand most of what they say, except that it's going to be a sketch about Smite. I love smite a lot.

I'm in a daze thinking about nothing much when I'm shaken. I open my eyes and realise I'm leaning against someone. "I'm sorry our conversation bored you Juniper but don't you think its impolite to fall asleep on me." I look up to see it happens to be the guy with longish hair - Davis. He's smirking down at me but his eyes are filled with laughter.

I awkwardly sit up, and straighten my clothes. I look around the room and see that Joven and Wes are laughing silently and Mari is leaning into Anthony's shoulder shaking with laughter.
I'm an awkward person and can fall asleep really easily, but normally its not people I fall asleep on.

I look over towards Davis, he's gone as red as feel, he looks at me and we stare at each other for a moment before I turn away.

"So now that you are awake, we have a question to ask you" Odom looks at me smiling kindly.
"Okay", I turn to face him ready to here what he has to say.
"Well, Joven was telling us how much you like Smite, so we had a brain storm, and decided that we want you to be a part of the sketch, would you mind?"
Everyone's eyes turn to me.
My heart beats in my chest. "Emmmm, I don't...... Well..........ummmmm........I can't."

I feel really awkward, I mean I would love to do a sketch about Smite, and everyone seems really nice its just my mind won't let me.
I look away from everyone, Joven understands or at least I think he remembers the reason.
I stare at a computer monitor, over in the corner, its screen saver is up. Its all pretty colors that move between each other.
Its amazing how quickly I calm down looking at it, even though I didn't know I was upset in the first place.

Its awkward in the room, everyone's silent. Probably wandering why I rejected them. I get up and leave, I can't take the silence. I quickly exit the room and find my self in an unfamiliar corridor.
I choose to walk in a random direction, walking down different corridors, passing doors unroll I reach a staircase. I go up it.

I climb the staircase to the top. Theres a door, I choose to open it. Its quite heavy but after I manage to pull it open I'm met with sun light. I'm on the roof.

I prop the door open and walk out into the light, the view is a amazing. I sit down near the edge of the building and just gaze at the view, at everyone in their cars going about there business. From up here they all look like tiny-ish ants. I smile at the thought.

Damn why do I have to be so fucked up. Everything I do, is based on how much confidence I have.
When I left London I had lots of confidence, I was so sure I would be able to stay confident in California, but obviousley I was mistaken. I have issues with being in front of cameras, a memory I'd rather forget.

Part of me wants to go back and accept there offer, but another part - the stronger part- is glad she denied the offer, and knows if she now accepts, she'll have to give a reason for denying in the first place.

As I'm wallowing in my thoughts, I faintly hear someone call my name,
"Juniper? Are you up here?"
The voice is vaguely familiar but I can't place it. I hear footsteps coming up the stairs and I freeze, should I hide, or act calm. I don't have time to decide. The person with the voice speaks again,
"There you are, I was worried, are you okay?"

I don't reply, or acknowledge their presence, I'm stuck. The person comes and sits next to me, wrapping there arm carefully around my shoulder, holding me tight. I slowly look to see who it is. I'm shocked, I expected Ian or Wes to come find me, not..........umm......Davis! That's his name.

I give him a soft smile. He studies me for a moment before reaching out and wiping a single tear from my face. He looks at me with concern in his eyes. "Are you okay?" He asks once again, his tone somber and concerned. I shrug and turn away, feeling the weight of his arm as I do so.
He sighs and gently turns my face back to face him, "look I understand you don't know me, and I understand you probably feel weird having me here, but just tell me your okay and then we can go back to Joven. He's worried sick about you by the way."

I instantly feel guilty, I'm making Davis feel bad and Joven worry, I'm such a crap person. I let out a long breathe before trying to say how I feel.
"I'm not okay, but at the same time I'm fine......if that makes any sense."
Davis nods at me, a slightly concerned look flashes accross his face but he quickly changes it into a smile.

"Well then, since I know your kind of okay, I guess i'll lead you back, but seriously if you ever need to talk.... I may not know you but, I'm a good listener."
His words make me smile. We both stand up and I hug him, I can't really not, he may not know it but it means a lot that without knowing me more than an hour he's willing to listen to me. He's taken by surprise but hugs me back, chuckling whilst he does so.
He smells nice, I know its weird smelling someone but he's taller than me and my face is in his shirt. He faintly smell of deodorant but something else as well.
The hug comes to a natural end, when we both pull away from each other I can't help but smile and feel my cheeks go red.
I just hugged someone I don't know at all.

Davis gently grabs my hand and leads me down the stairs and along the corridors until we finally arrive in the lobby we first entered through. I see Joven and quickly untangle My hand from Davis's and run towards him. He sees me and smiles, then it fades to concern. When I reach him, he pulls me into a massive hug.

"Please don't leave like that again, I get so worried about you, especially after what happened."
Any happiness I once felt drains out of me faster than a bullet leaving a gun. The memories wash over me and I start to feel dizzy.
I feel someone's hand on my back, and the faint whir of voices, but everything's jumbled, I know whats happening to me. I'm haveing a panic attack.........