Normal - Steve Kemp x Reader

Chapter Four: Inner Darkness

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of: death/murder, dead bodies, cannibalism (basically everything Steve does to people in Fresh), blood, slight stalking mentions, vomit, blood, anxiety and bullying/past trauma. Also, some smut: mentions of sex (no descriptions of it, just mentioned) and masturbation. And of course: Steve Kemp just being Steve Kemp because that man is a warning all on his own.

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Early the following morning, Y/N wakes up. Her entire body is cold and achy, and her head is pounding. Frowning, she soon realises that she fell asleep on her bathroom floor. For a moment, she wonders why the hell she fell asleep on her bathroom floor rather than in her bed. However, as soon as she asks herself that question, the previous night's events come flooding back to her. Her mind fills with images of her and Steve together, kissing each other and touching each other's bodies. Almost fucking each other. Y/N's stomach churns. A part of her is starting to realise that she likes those kinds of dreams...and maybe wants them to happen in real life. And that scares her more than anything in the entire world. Especially considering the people she's been in contact with throughout her job.

She leans against the wall, trying to calm herself down and be rational...but failing. Why the fuck did her brain do this to her? She doesn't understand it. Naturally, as a psychologist, she knows that plenty of people have sex dreams about someone. This, though, is different. This is having a sex dream about a fucking cannibalistic serial killer. And fucking enjoying it. God knows what Sigmund Freud would have to say about her. He'd probably have a field day, the fucking weirdo.

Of course, she knows a part of her has been attracted to Steve ever since she met him, but she always thought that was because of how conventionally attractive he looks. For the longest time, that was the deepest she thought her attraction to Steve Kemp went, and that was...okay to her. Well, as okay as it could be. She just never imagined it would turn out like this, with her seriously considering if she is actually falling in love with him or if this is some kind of perverted lust. And for a moment, she feels another spark of excitement throughout her body at the very thought of it being love. One she tries desperately to ignore. Because despite the number of exciting feelings she's felt about Steve, she knows she can't act on them or even entertain the thought of them being real. For obvious reasons, of course, but there's another thought on her mind. One that's been there ever since she started working at the FBI.

Sometimes, whenever she finds herself intrigued by the serial killers that she encounters, Y/N worries that it's because her interest goes beyond a simple fascination. If it actually means that there's some kind of darkness in her too, and if it will awaken and take over upon meeting the 'right' person one day. Of course, she knows that's not true, considering the number of people she's met over the years without any issues. Or at least, it wasn't true back then. Because, as she said before, Steve is different, and she feels differently about him. So now...she's wondering if Steve Kemp is the person to awaken her inner darkness. Her mind replays Steve's looks towards her and him biting his lip. She always thought they were just him wondering what she tastes like...but she wonders if something else is there. If he senses there's a darkness within her too, and he's just waiting for the moment to encourage it to come out. And for a fleeting moment...Y/N feels a slight excitement at that prospect.

Her stomach churns once more, and she rushes to the toilet, emptying the contents of her stomach into it, holding on for dear life as her body shakes. Whether with dread or excitement...she doesn't know.

"Fuck!" Y/N hisses. She almost considers banging her head against the wall in the hopes it removes any and all thoughts of Steve Kemp from her mind. Despite how interesting the prospect sounds, she decides against it. She'd rather try other options before knocking herself out. She sighs, looking up at her ceiling. Maybe she'll just have to go cold turkey again, but this time for good. She'll just have to go to her boss and say something about how uncomfortable she is with the whole situation...and ignore the pang in her heart at the thought of leaving Steve again.