The Shadows Within Us

The One Called Redemption

"Why...would you show me this?" The girl named after the ethereal garden spoke just above a whisper. Her voice wavered, trembling as did her entire body. It was a horrible, sickening sensation; one that made her want to vomit. The image of death played on repeat like an old, damaged VHS tape, cruelly repeating what was perhaps the most despicable thing she could have ever imagined Osiris doing.

The strange, foreign voice spoke to her from the abyss. It filled in the obscurity of the darkness, as though the voice itself were made of light. "You believe yourself to be a monster of such lengths, don't you?" It asked, as though it already had the answer, though secretly sought to be found incorrect.

"Do you find these words still ring true, through the innermost portion of your being? Given that you've learned the nature of what you truly are." The unseen creature questioned, its voice holding the authority of a god.

Was there a right answer? A wrong one? Eden wondered. She was too afraid to lie, certain that the Being would know immediately and call her out on her dishonesty. "It doesn't change anything, really." She answered, her voice solemn and slow. "I'll always be like them, until the day I can live...without having to kill somebody else." Eden felt like she had failed some sort of major exam. She felt ashamed of herself, of everything that she was and ever had been. She despised it with a burning animosity.

"Black and white may define some." It proclaimed, allegorically, but Eden couldn't entirely understand what it was talking about. "Though in many cases, an individual may be further attuned to grey." They finalized, speaking in a way that felt full of metaphors and lacking any real sense. Still, the fledgling vampire felt indifferent.

"You seethe with hate. Despise for your world...for your family...for your sins. But is it not the guilty sinner who seeks and receives forgiveness?" The angelic voice of Redemption spoke, still trying to worm its way inside the girl's thick skull. 

Eden was more perplexed than ever. Here was this seemingly divine being, encouraging the part of her that she had hated ever since she could remember; the evil within her, the shadow inside that hungered for the warm taste of life. 

"How can I ever be forgiven for something like that?" The teen felt like she could cry, if only she could feel her face. "I'm nothing. I'm not some genius who's going to save the world. There's nothing about me that makes me any more important than the people I'd have to kill to survive!" Her voice grew louder, wavering with the overbearing pain and guilt of her life. Eden fought with herself. There was no way to justify it, to argue that her existence was more promising than any other. Even worse, there was no way around it; no loophole to living independently of the crimson red fluid.

Maybe I don't deserve to go back.

Maybe she was selfish, undeserving, needy...Everything that Osiris had ever told her she was. 

Maybe, he was right about her.

The presence of the disembodied voice seemed to grow nearer, but the emotion behind it was indiscernible. "Perhaps...you are not the monster you believe you are."

Eden was dumbfounded. Everything this Being went on about conflicted with the narrative she had been telling herself for the past eighteen years. All of this, coming from a creature of light, nonetheless. If it could forgive what she was, could God? Could she even forgive herself? The half-vampire closed her raspberry orbs tightly, opening them to a large examination type room painted in a black darker than night. The tile was a reflective, cool surface of obsidian and she found herself silently appreciating the space. It was far better than feeling absent of any sort of physical form, she thought as she extended a pale hand in front of her face, bending her thin fingers. Her attention was swiftly diverted, the heavenly creature speaking once more.