the musings of and insomniac (jily one shot)

I'm tired.

So tired.

Too tired.

I need sleep.

I can't sleep.

It's not fair.

I just feel like never speaking again.

It's that bad.

I'm in different bed tonight.

Not my bed.

I'm in this bed.

His bed.

Why?

Because I can't sleep alone tonight.

I can't.

His bed is perfect.

Just as soft...

The only issue is....

He's in it.

He's right beside me.

Breathing.... In, out, in, out.

His chest moving up and down, rising and falling with every inhale and exhale.

I hear it.

I feel it.

It's perfect.

He's perfect.

If only he knew...

Oh wait, he does know, and flaunts it.

That's why I hated him in the first place.

It hasn't been like that this year.

He's different.

He hasn't been arrogant.

He's been kind.

He's just been normal.

Well he still pulls pranks, but less so.

He's still confident, but less so.

He still looks at me, but less so.

I mean look at where I am right now.

I got in bed with him because I couldn't sleep alone.

And I chose him, his bed.

Not because his door is just across the common room.

But because I wanted to be with him.

I know I'll be able to sleep when I'm in the same bed as him.

Probably because I'm in love with him...

Crazy how I can admit that now.

I feel like such a baby, having to get in bed with someone so I can fall asleep.

Just like I would do with my Mum and Dad.

I miss them.

I'm not going to see them this summer.

I'm never going to see them again.

They're gone, forever.

I'm not going to be able to hug them.

Not going to be able to tell them about my troubles.

Not going to be able to talk to Dad about my life here.

Not going to be able to help Mum in the kitchen.

Why did they die?

I needed them!