Love Is Not For Me

A small life -3

"Khushi." Her name from his mouth would have been praying for him to answer but for her, this was venom she can't stand it.

Khushi smiles the same smile she practices for three years to look like she is happy. It seems constantly to be her weapon against the world and hardly ever gets a break from smiling because the world will know that it  already broke her and there is nothing left in her."  Arnav Ji, please come in. You are wet from the rain. I have already on the heater in the guest room please go and rest." Khushi started talking before he chance to enquire about her. like he has any right to her.

Arnav was taken aback by her appearance, smile and words like there were not three years she left with no goodbye. As if everything was normal between them. He let himself walk inside the flat with his luggage.

"Khushi, why you left?" Arnav finally asked what he wanted, what was eating him from inside. Why she left him, her family, and her country?

Khushi closed off still smiling "I got a good offer and career, Arnav Ji. Are they not enough to leave."

Arnav doesn't believe it."You are lying, dammit."

Khushi shook her head and pointed towards the guest room."There you can rest and sleep. We can talk another day. I am tired and sleepy.  If you are hungry, there is some dinner in the refrigerator you can take and warm in the microwave. Good night Arnav Ji." she turned around to leave but then her wrist was locked in (familiar, cruel, loving, desperate)his hold.

They were in against each other, eyes locked in a heated confrontation between them and words that are no chance to leave their lips.

Why? His eyes screamed with desperation he always felt the past three years.

Khushi felt the resentment and at that very moment her eyes closed, and she whisper "Old habits died hard, isn't Arnav Ji?" she open her eyes which filled with fury and she told him " You always hurt me. Why not leave when I am always getting hurt?"

Arnav flinched from her words. He never wanted to hurt her, especially now. He never saw Khushi's anger and frustration towards him as if she wants nothing more than get away from him. He let his hold lose on her and ask helplessly "Did I hurt you this much Khushi? We were happy in that marriage preparation. You were happy and always smiling at me. Did I imagine what we both felt and what I wanted to ask from you?"

Three years have mellowed down the anger and rage because somewhere ASR always believe this anger was the reason Khushi left him. He just wants to know.

Khushi seething pushed him with all her strength making Arnav stumble back. She snarled "What feeling? There was nothing between you and me, Arnav Ji. It was always anger you have for me and my helplessness. I do not dream of becoming a gold digger by getting any feelings for you. I can't afford your feeling."

Arnav Singh Raizada clenched his fist, he hissed"Shut up." he took a menacing step forward but Khushi didn't back down. She didn't follow the dance of their attraction, infatuation and hatred.

"I left because why not?" Khushi snapped back.

Arnav grab her arms and forced her into his arms"Khushi I am tired of your nonsense, dammit. Do you have any idea what I was going to propose to you three years ago? That night I wanted to ask you to marry me! But do you know what I got when I walked into the terrace where we suppose to meet.No one.No Khushi. Because Khushi Kumari Gupta left In silence. Did you enjoy leaving me Khushi? Tell me Dammit!"

Khushi's eyes burn but she didn't dare to cry, she never wants to be in tears. She was so close to him in his arms and again getting his finger marking, like a brand.

"What if on that terrace you have seen me, Arnav Ji? Would you be pleased?" She asks, her eyes holding his.

Arnav told her "Yes."

Khushi smile sarcastically and ask again"What if you saw me in the arms of your brother-in-law and him confessing his love for me and declaring divorce your beloved sister, would you be still pleased, Arnav Ji?"

Arnav looked at her devasted."Did you lose your mind Khushi?" his voice contain the burning rage.

Khushi has thought about her three years of peace from this Raizada family and especially from Arnav Singh Raizada. She wants him gone. She realised the best way will be one truth which was the reason he would have humiliated her beyond words years ago and forced her into marriage. Now she doesn't care. They are in London where her neighbour is a lawyer.

Khushi knows Akash jija Ji loves Payal Jiji enough to not break the marriage and the Gupta family is in Kolkata away from this Arnav Singh Raizada and Shyam Manohar Jha's influence. She has nothing to fear.

Khushi broken laughing said "Don't you know Mr Raizada that your Shyam jijaji is none other than my ex-fiance? The same man who recommended me to your office and the same man who always obsessed over me."

Arnav froze. His felt his heart broke again.