Shitexting [IDV Chatfic]

That's it, they're on a date

-15:30-

@Gold_digger to @Dead_inside

Gold_digger: Hey, Aes!

Dead_inside: What do you want, Campbell.

Gold_digger: Wow, a friend can't even take news now?

Dead_inside: Who knows, you often call your "friends" when it suits you.

Gold_digger: Well okay, but this time I have a real reason!

Dead_inside: ...

Gold_digger: Listen to me first alright?

Dead_inside: You have five minutes of my time.

Gold_digger: Wowowowowow!? Okay, okay, so how about coming to the amusement park with Naib and me this Saturday? I was going to ask Eli to come too!

Dead_inside: Saturday... I'm busy.

Gold_digger: No way... Aesop Carl, that brat who stays home all day long to study is busy? Tell your big brother!

Dead_inside: I'm pretty sure my mom died giving birth to me but whatever. I have a date, that's all you need to know.

Gold_digger: A DATE... And may I ask who the lucky guy is?

Dead_inside: I said that's all you would know.

Gold_digger: Is it someone I know? Maybe... Eli!?

Dead_inside: How did you...

Gold_digger: SO IT IS HIM?!

Dead_inside: Well, I lost. It's him indeed.

Gold_digger: OH... MY... GOD... Since when?! How!? Where?!

Dead_inside: Hey calm down, it's just a date with a childhood friend

Gold_digger: No, no, no! Seriously Aesop, do you still consider Eli a childhood friend?

Dead_inside: How else should I consider him? A dead person? Too bad because he still seems pretty alive to me at the moment.

Gold_digger: You know very well what I mean!

Dead_inside: Until proven otherwise, no.

Gold_digger: Jesus, I knew you were dense but I'm starting to feel sorry for Eli.

Dead_inside: Why should you pity him when he's not even here?

Gold_digger: Who cares about Eli! We're talking about you and how you feel about him!

Dead_inside: So, about Eli.

Gold_digger: Damn it Aesop Carl can you focus for a second!

Dead_inside: I have doubts about who should really be focusing.

Gold_digger: Anyway, what do you think of Eli?

Dead_inside: He's a good friend

Gold_digger: And ?????

Dead_inside: He's less annoying than you

Gold_digger: And???????????????????

Dead_inside: And...? That' s all?

Gold_digger: Nothing else!? No "his blue eyes are as bright as a lamp in my face" or "his voice is like a mermaid's song that makes me want to drown"???????