Bad Things Happen To Good People [Ryden Oneshot]

Brendon's Journal: Part II

June 26, 2014

It's been nearly four months since you left. I remember the funeral like it was yesterday. Everyone was crying. I was crying. I gave a speech. I hope you heard it. It took me about ten minutes to write, but it was all my thoughts and emotions. I just. I miss you so much, Ryan. Sometimes I swear I can still hear you playing your guitar.

While My Guitar Gently Weeps came on the radio the other day. I nearly threw up. I couldn't listen to it. I had to turn it off. Do you remember when we were on our first date and danced to that song? And then when we sang it as a duet and you recorded it and uploaded it to your SoundCloud? Oh man, I miss those days. Oh memories, where'd you go?

-Brendon Boyd Urie

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June 27, 2014

I went to the therapist yesterday. He told me to keep writing in this journal. He said that I shouldn't bottle everything up-- that it's not healthy. I guess it's true, that it's not healthy to keep everything in. I don't have a lot to say today. I feel like the day you left, there's been a weight on my chest.

-Brendon Boyd Urie

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June 29, 2014

Dr. Weekes invited me over for dinner at his house tomorrow. Oh, I forgot to say that Dr. Weekes is my therapist. He's really nice. You'd like him, Ryan. He's super tall, but not as tall as you. I don't think I'll ever meet anyone as tall as you. That's what I always loved the most about you. I mean, every feature was flawless but something about your height and your long legs and your long everything..... just made me. I don't even know what I'm saying.

-Brendon Boyd Urie

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July 1, 2014

I'm about to go to Dr. Weekes' house. I'll tell you about it when I get back.

-Brendon Boyd Urie

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July 1, 2014

Ryan, it was awful! When I got there, he was very charming and nice and took my coat and such. He pulled my chair out for me, like how I used to do for you. He made an exquisite dinner. It was so good. After we ate, we had some wine and sat on his couch. He tried to kiss me. I rejected him and he got mad at me. He said he needs someone. His wife left around the same time you did. I left after that.

-Brendon Boyd Urie

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July 4, 2014

Do you remember last year's Fourth Of July party? Oh my god, it was so amazing. You kept flipping out and rambling on and on about how Jon was going to fuck up the fireworks somehow, and set the whole house on fire. And you got so pissed when I pushed you in the pool. You ignored me the rest of the night, but the make up sex made up for it.

-Brendon Boyd Urie.

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July 6, 2014

I ran into an old friend at the grocery store today. Her name's Sarah. We went to high school together. She looks really pretty now. I mean, she wasn't ever ugly, but now she's, well, stunning. She looks like a model.

We talked briefly and she asked me how my life was. No, I didn't bring you up. I lied and said I was awesome. Which isn't true at all. I'm so very far from awesome.