The pain will end....give it time....2 years from now it will all be a distant memory. Yeah right...that's what they all say. I don't know how to describe it—the pain. The heartbreak, it is something that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't forget. It seemed to be never ending. If you ask anyone they will tell you that it was all in my head. That it was never real—that he was never real. If that was the case then way does the pain feel so real, and why did he?
They say I'm delusional. I know everyone around town talks. He was here, he was real... I know it, but just like he came in a blink of an eye he was gone. Only he had changed my life forever....The pain it comes in waves. It felt like my heart was scattering into a million pieces. He was my everything, I loved him more than anyone else in the world and he walked away like it was the easiest thing in the world to do. I didn't even get a goodbye. I guess it really put things into perspective—how he really cared about me.
People talk, you can choose to listen...I didn't. A small part of me told me to. Deep down I believed them. I didn't want to, but just like how you can't choose who you love. I didn't choose this. When he left, I was heartbroken but a small part of me saw this coming. I wasn't surprised, or disappointed. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. What swept over me that day—a pain that I never want to experience again, and it's a pain that I will never forget. He left nothing but two things behind: the necklace he gave me and the memories he gave me.
The necklace has two moons on it, and one of them is engraved with the words I love you to the moon and back. I still wear it—everyday as a reminder that I was right and to never love someone who eventually is going to leave you. After him, my new motto is to never get attached...never. I plan to stick to it. It's not like anyone wants to be friends with the girl who fell in love with someone who wasn't real. Right? Besides they all think I'm crazy. Every last one of them. I can tell by the way they all look at me.
I miss him. I miss his blue eyes. I miss his perfect smile. I miss his brown fluffy hair. I miss the way he would text me goodnight and good morning before I woke up. I miss they way he would always check up on me. How he would wait on me after class. I thought he loved me. I thought...I thought we had something special. I thought that we could grow old together. That he was my soulmate. That if I loved him enough that he could stay. But I was wrong.
He left and I'm here. Heartbroken and alone. I always think about him. He never seems to leave my mind. Most times I think I'm crazy. I guess I have to deal until maybe just maybe the pain will go away.
